***DISCLAIMER***: All "X-Files" elements and references in this story belong to Fox Broadcasting, Chris Carter, and 1013 Productions, and I am making no money from it. ARCHIVING: Link only, please! ========== Mixed Drinks: Lover's Kiss by shannono shannono@iname.com (Never Ending) Story, Humor Rated PG-13 for, uh, things you don't mention in mixed company No spoilers, except maybe a bartender's secret or two Summary: A recipe guide. Continuation of the series. Author's notes: Yes, that's a real drink. I looked it up. It's all in the research, folks. Some of 'em I did from memory, though, and since I'm staying with the no editing tradition, you'll just have to overlook those. Or I won't write any more. And now ... by popular demand ... all four of you ... ========== Mixed Drinks: Lover's Kiss by shannono "So, Scully ..." "Yeah?" "How many drinks do you know how to make, anyway?" "Mmmm ... don't know. I've never counted." "Tell me some more." "Why do you ..." "I just wanna know. Tell me." "Well, okay. You already saw the mimosa and the Bloody Mary. And anyone can make a rum and Coke, right?" "Are you casting aspersions on my drinkmaking ability?" "You're the one who asked, Mulder." "Yeah, yeah. So what else can you make?" "Well, daiquiris aren't too hard but can get pretty messy. Same with pina coladas. And the standards, like a martini -- which I hate, by the way. No martinis, and pretty much nothing with gin in it." "Not my favorite, either. What else?" "Fuzzy navels. Margaritas. Tequila Sunrise, although I prefer those with amaretto instead. Irish coffee. And I make some from mixes, too, like hurricanes." "Yeah, those are good. ... Do you make any of the stranger ones?" "Stranger ones?" "You know, the ones people make up, and the ones that usually don't show up on drink menus ..." "Well, there's the Brain. We made those in college." "I'm not sure I want to ask." "Oh, it's good. You put a shot of just about any kind of clear alcohol or liqueur in a glass -- I like butterscotch Schnapps in this, but most people just use vodka -- and then you pour Bailey's Irish Cream into it, *very* slowly. It kind of clouds out into the liqueur, so it looks kind of like a brain, which is where the name comes from." "I don't know if I could drink that." "It was med school, Mulder. "Oh yeah ... What else did you drink in college?" "Well, some of them you don't really want to repeat in mixed company ..." "Since when am I mixed company?" "Mulder, I didn't say I wasn't going to tell *you*. I was just warning you. ... Ever had Sex on the Beach?" "Well, yes, actually. ... Oh, you mean the drink? ... Ow!" "Watch it, bud." "That's gonna leave a mark ... Yeah, I've had the drink, and no, I've never done the deed. Too much sand to deal with." "Mmm-hmmm. ... What about a Blow Job?" "Excuse me??" "Mulder, you *really* have to get your mind out of the gutter." "Well, *you're* the one who keeps bringing up sex, Scully." "Mulder, I am simply telling you some of the drinks I know how to make, like you asked me to. I warned you ..." "Yeah, yeah, I know. Okay, so what's in that one?" "Well, there are several versions, but my favorite is a frozen version, with Bailey's and Kahlua. There are easier ways to make it, but that way tastes like a chocolate milkshake." "I'm sure it does." "We had one at a bachelorette party once called a Sloe Comfortable Screw Against the Wall." "Mmmph." "Mulder? You okay?" "Just fine, Scully. What's in that one?" "Sloe gin, Southern Comfort, orange juice, and vodka. It looks and smells like cough syrup, and it sure opens up your sinuses, but it tastes pretty good." "Mmm-hmm." "And there's a Buttery Nipple." "Which is ...? "Bailey's and butterscotch schnapps, like the Brain, but blended. Tastes like a ButterRum Life Saver." "Oh, I love those." "Well, guess I'll have to make you a Buttery Nipple sometime, huh?" "I can think of a different kind of nipple ..." "Mulder!" "Well, I'd apologize, Scully, but you're the one lying half on top of me and talking about sex, blow jobs and nipples. I'm only human here." "There's one more good one." "Ooooo-kay ... what?" "A Lover's Kiss. Amaretto, Creme de Cacao, cherry brandy and cream. I love that one." "Hey, Scully?" "Yeah?" "I have a better idea." "What?" "How about we go straight to the source for that one?" "I'm with you all the way, Mulder." ==========END========== [don't you just LOVE being teased??]