***DISCLAIMER***: All "X-Files" elements and references
in this story belong to Fox Broadcasting, Chris Carter,
and 1013 Productions, and I am making no money from it.

ARCHIVING: Link only, please!

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Date II
by shannono
shannono@iname.com


Vignette, Humor

Rated PG

Spoilers through "Kitsunegari"

Summary: Mulder has a date and some fun.

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Date II
by shannono


Fox Mulder leaned a little further back in his chair as the woman across
the table chattered continuously at him. He was amazed. She'd been
talking nearly nonstop since he picked her up an hour earlier, and she
showed no signs of slowing down. She went on and on as they drove to
the restaurant, pausing only long enough to order a wine spritzer when
they got to their table. She'd covered her school years, three different
jobs during the past five years, several television shows and movies
she'd seen recently, and a few magazine articles for good measure.

He was mildly surprised she hadn't detailed a month's worth of Jerry
Springer shows. It was about the only thing left.

He managed to keep a somewhat interested look on his face and
squeeze out a "Yeah" or "Sure" or "Really?" every now and then.
Meanwhile, he mentally kicked himself. Sure, she'd been introduced
as Barbra Collins. But he knew he should have run for the door as
soon as she'd said perkily, "Call me Buffy!"

"Buffy," of all names. It conjured up images of pompoms and ponytails,
nail polish and bubble gum, maybe even a bimboesque entomologist or
two. He should be past all that by now. He suppressed a sigh and
wondered, idly, what Scully was doing at that moment.

Suddenly, he realized Buffy had asked him a question. "I'm sorry," he
said, giving her an apologetic smile. "It's been a long week. What did
you ask me?"

She giggled. "I just wondered about you, that's all. You haven't said
much about yourself."

Mulder paused as a wicked idea entered his mind.  he thought. But the 
image of her reaction to his tale got the best of him and he launched 
into it all.

 "Well, I had a typical childhood until I was 12, when my sister was
abducted from our house. I never have known if it was aliens or some
kind of government conspiracy. My dad worked for the government,
and it may have been a way to keep him quiet about some things he'd
seen and done.

"I ended up going to college in England, got a degree in psychology,
and then went to work for the FBI, profiling serial killers. After I had
some success, I found out about the X-Files, which are cases involving
unexplained phenomenon, like UFOs and telekinesis. I reopened the
files and have worked on them most of the time since then.

 "I worked mostly alone until five years ago, when my superiors sent
Dana Scully to be my partner -- and supposedly to spy on me. She
didn't, though, and we've been working together ever since.

"Of course, it hasen't always been easy. She was abducted -- again,
either by aliens or the government -- and they gave her cancer. She's
also been kidnapped several times, and we've both been held hostage,
attacked in various exotic ways and shot at numerous times. We've
ended up with guns on each other, and she even shot me once. Her
sister was shot by some people who were looking for Scully, probably
the same people who killed my father about the same time."

Buffy's eyes were huge and her face a shocking shade of white as
Mulder paused, so he decided to let her off easy. "Well, I won't bore
you with the circus freaks, the shapeshifters, the cancer eater, the
fat sucker, the devil worshipers, or all that." He smiled. "Anything else
you'd like to know?"

Buffy stared, then screwed her face up in a look of utter disgust.
"Ugh," she said. "That's revolting. I don't have to listen to this." She
stood, grabbed her purse and said, "Don't call me, *Mister* Mulder.
I won't be there." She stalked off in a huff.

Mulder, relieved, pushed his chair back onto its back legs, a rueful
grin spreading across his face. That's the last time I go out with
someone suggested by a Lone Gunman, he thought.

Just then, his cell phone beeped in his pocket. He reached for it,
punched a button, and said, "Mulder."

Then he smiled.

==========END==========