Disclaimer: Nope, these characters aren't mine. Category: VRA Classification: MSR Rating: PG Spoilers: all things, Requiem Archive: Gossamer. Spookys. Others ask me. Feedback: Knock yourself out. Summary: Mulder and Scully's conversation continues in the motel room. Thanks to: Sara Lynn, my personal little beta reader. "A Matter of Perspective" (1/1) by Lisa haven599@msn.com "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I --- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference." -Robert Frost (1874-1963) Bellefleur, Oregon I tried not to cry, but Mulder's words affected me so that I briefly contemplated on the life I could have led if not for the X-Files. If I didn't walk into Blevins' office seven years ago. . . I could be at home now surrounded by my children. I could be sipping a glass of wine by a roaring fire with my husband. I could be seeing patients at my medical practice. It's not good to dwell on what ifs . . . Mulder held me tighter as I cried, never saying anything, just offering silent support. Quiet strength. Perhaps I would have had a better life. Perhaps a worse one. Who knows? There are too many possibilities. I have already dwelled on them after seeing Daniel. I don't need to linger on it anymore. I need to move on. I can't fathom a life without Mulder. This is the last thought I have before drifting off to sleep. ++++ I woke with a start. The dream came back to me slowly. I'm sitting on the floor of a house playing with a red-haired little girl. She stacks brightly colored plastic rings on the Rock-A-Stack and then turns to me and smiles, saying: "Mommy, look." I pushed the covers down my body, feeling very hot. The back of my neck is covered with sweat. I walked to the bathroom for a glass of water. My face is flushed, as if I am running a fever or just came in from the winter chill. "Scully, are you okay?" Mulder called to me from the bed. "I don't know," I replied, returning to the bed. "I feel hot." "You need to change out of those clothes," he told me as he emerged from under the same covers. "You'd feel more comfortable." Mulder rummaged around in his suitcase and pulls out a gray T-shirt, handing it to me. I start to feel dizzy and lightheaded again and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Scully . . ." I feel the weight of the bed shift under his body. "What is it?" "I'll be fine in a minute." I unbuttoned my blouse and let it slip through my fingers, not having the energy to hang it up in the closet where it belonged. My pants and hose come next and are also discarded onto the floor. I can feel Mulder's eyes on my back as I unhooked my bra. If I wasn't feeling so ill, more than likely we would make love. I wish I had the energy to do that, but I only managed to pull the shirt over my head and slide back into the bed. "Let me go and get some ice for you," he offered and quickly disappeared. I closed my eyes and wondered what was wrong with me. I can't think of any plausible reason why this is happening to me. I'm scared. Whatever happens, I'm glad Mulder's here. He returned with the ice and put some in the plastic cup provided by the motel for me along with water from the tap. Mulder brushed some hair off my forehead and it reminded of our conversation earlier of there being an end for me. "Mulder, there has to be an end for you, too," I told him. "I don't think so, Scully. I chose this. You didn't." he answered. "There's more you can do than saddling yourself to me." I took a sip of the water. "It sounds like your making my choice for me." "You've had so much taken from you because of me," he said. "Enough is enough." I finished the rest of the water and set the glass down next to the lamp. "Mulder," I began, "I don't feel like I've saddled myself to you at all." "The career path you started on quickly changed into one of danger and risk," Mulder said. "This path has cost you way too much and I have no one to blame but myself for it." I reached over to touch his hand. "Have I ever blamed you for anything that's happened to me?" "It might be easier if you did," he said softly, before he turned away from me and faced the opposite wall. I instantly felt the tears welling up in my eyes for what's been taken away from me and for Mulder's guilt that he will always carry. I switched the light off and nestled down in bed, trying not to cry again. Mulder doesn't need that now. After a few minutes, I snuggled against him in the darkness and whispered, "I want to stay on the same path with you." Mulder didn't respond and I wondered if he had fallen asleep. I didn't want him to go to sleep upset and hurting, but then I felt him stroking my hair gently. After fumbling momentarily in the darkness, his lips met mine and I was in his arms. I hope we will fall asleep like this. ++++ END (1/1) Like what you read? Come to Lisa's Haven: http://shannono.simplenet.com/haven