Disclaimer: These characters aren't mine. I'm not that clever or creative. Category: SRA Classification: MSR Rating: NC-17 Spoilers: Momento Mori and beyond Archive: Gossamer. Others ask me. Feedback: Please, please, please Summary: Scully takes care of Mulder, but it leads to something she never expected and she must deal with its ramifications. Author's Note: This time the medical info came from Taber's Medical Dictionary. If you're familiar with it, you'll know how comprehensive it is. However, it's still a quick and dirty way of getting medical knowledge. I'm doing the best I can. "Emotional Turmoil" by Lisa (haven599@msn.com) The house is empty. He is gone. I am alone. We had gotten close. Maybe too close for him. I don't know. After this week, anything can happen. And it did. **** Monday It started with a call from Memorial Hospital. I rushed down there wondering what condition Mulder was in. He was relatively all right. The nurse told me he had a dislocated shoulder and bruised ribs . . . "Mulder, are you Ok?" I asked, touching his hand lightly. "Yeah, I'm fine." he replied somewhat groggy. The conversation was interrupted when a doctor came into the room. "Miss Scully?" he said, motioning to me to join him outside the door. "I'll be right back." I told Mulder. "Miss Scully?" he repeated. "Yes?" "I'm Dr. Robertson." he told me. "I treated Mr. Mulder. He has a dislocated shoulder and some bruised ribs." "Yes, the nurse told me." "Unfortunately, he is insistent in leaving the hospital." He said. "We were able to contact you. I don't want him driving home. In fact, I'd wish he stay overnight for observation, but he says that he needs to meet with someone." "I'll make sure he gets home safely." I assured him. "Does he live alone?" "Yes. Why do you ask?" "With his arm bandaged like that, he won't be able to do much for himself." I hadn't thought of that. "I guess he could stay with me for a couple of days." What the hell was I saying? I don't know where that came from. "Good. I'd feel better discharging him." he admitted. "And if he seems a little disoriented it's probably the pain medicine." "Right." However, Mulder can be like that when he's lucid, I thought to myself. "Mulder, you should rest." I urged as we step inside my apartment. He slumps down on my couch, saying: "Scully, is this new? I don't remember it being this long." "Yes. I bought it a couple weeks ago." I replied. "It folds out into a bed." "Expecting overnight guests?" he grinned. "Yeah. You." I said sarcastically. "Let me get you some pillows." He was almost asleep when I returned with the pillows and a blanket. "Mulder, I'm going to go fill the prescription the doctor gave you." I whispered. I wasn't sure he heard me so I left a note before leaving on my errand. I ended up going to the supermarket as well since Mulder would be staying for a couple of days. This was going to be really weird. I made as little noise as possible while putting the groceries away, as not to awaken him. I couldn't get Mulder to eat anything at dinner, so I ended up making myself a sandwich. I don't know what I expected, maybe for him to tell me how he got hurt. It was probably something stupid. Going off half-cocked and getting caught breaking into some high security facility that he thought was hiding extraterrestrial life. Or something like that. "Scully?" Mulder murmured. "Can I get something to eat?" "What do you want?" I asked him not really in the mood to play waitress, but he needs his strength back. "I don't know." he replied. "A sandwich?" "Fine." he agreed. "Scully, you don't . . . I mean it's all right if I stay here. I'll understand if you don't want me." "Mulder, *I* want you here." I emphasized, walking over to the couch. "I'm glad you're Ok." I touched his shoulder gently. Before I got ready for bed, I made up the couch into a bed for Mulder and made sure he had everything he needed for the night. I told him I was going to leave my bedroom door open if he needed anything to wake me up. I'm sure he wouldn't, but I still made the offer. Tuesday It was strange having someone in the house when I got up. I have been so used to be on my own that it was an unusual feeling. I made some coffee for us. I made myself a bagel. Mulder wanted one too. I didn't expect that since I've never seen him eat one before. I think he was trying not to make extra work for me. Afterwards, I checked his shoulder to make sure he wasn't in any pain. His arm had to be bound across his chest using an open sling reinforced by a broad bandage. The ribs were still tender, but that was to be expected. "Scully, aren't you going to work?" "No, Mulder, I'm staying here with you." I remarked. "What are we going to do?" "You're going to rest." I said, finishing up the breakfast dishes and clearing off the table. "Doctor's orders." "Fine." he sighed, turning on the TV. "Scully, you don't have any good movies." Mulder commented. "What?" I put down the journal I was reading and look up at him. He is browsing through my video collection. "You don't have any good movies." he repeated. "I'm sorry there's no Alien Autopsy videos, Mulder." "That's all right. I've already seen that one, anyway." "Oh, you mean adult videos." I smiled at him. "The ones you don't watch." "Very funny." Mulder mumbled. I watch him sit down on the couch, favoring his arm. He seems upset. "Mulder, what's wrong?" "It's hurting a little more." he admitted. "A throbbing pain." "Take some more medicine." I suggested. "It's been more than four hours." He does and then stretches out on the couch. "You know, you still haven't told me what happened." I sat on the edge of the couch next to him. He looked at me for the longest time. He seemed reluctant to answer my question. "Later. I'm tired now." I leave him alone even more interested in his response now. "Tell me." I begged. "It may help me understand your injury better." I'm about ready to go to bed, but need to know before tomorrow. I don't understand why he won't tell me how he injured his arm. The rest of the day passed uneventfully. We ate, watched TV, basically did nothing but lay around my apartment. I suggested watching a movie and eating popcorn before bed. Surprisingly, Mulder agreed. I didn't take him for the popcorn type for some reason. "I had a meeting with someone." he began. "I didn't expect it to end like this." Mulder held out his arm. "A meeting about what? I don't understand." "It was with an informant of mine. I don't know his name." "More proof of extraterrestrial life?" I asked with a slight smile. "No, it wasn't about that." He shifted on the couch. "What was it about?" He looked directly at me before answering. "You." It was barely a whisper. "Me? Mulder, what's going on?" I'm almost afraid to know what he's done now. How can I be involved in this? "He told me he knew who the men were that took you." he told me. Gave you cancer." "Mulder, that's in the past now." I noted. "It doesn't matter." "Yes it does, Scully. They can't get away with it." He moved closer to me. "How did you hurt your arm?" "He thought it was a safe meeting place, but others found out about us. I got into a fight and was pushed off a fire escape." he explained. "Mulder, you could be in worse shape than you are know." I got up from the couch, needing some distance from him right now. "You expect these people to be telling the truth?" "He said he had names." Mulder specified. "These people have to answer for what they've done." "And you've taken it upon yourself to be judge, jury, and executioner?" I cried. "Someone has to be." "Not you, Mulder." I don't want him to get hurt. He already has. He already found a cure for me. Can't he leave it alone? "What about all those women, Scully?" he asks. "They died because of those experiments. The cancer killed them. Left them with nothing." He was standing right beside me now. Why is he telling me this? I already know. I went through the treatments. I was scared. Scared I would die. Leave my family behind. Leave Mulder. "Mulder, stop, just stop!" I yelled. "My cancer's in remission. You found the chip. Isn't that enough for you!?" Mulder looks surprised by my sudden outburst. "Who's the one who wants proof? This would be tangible proof." "*Would* be, Mulder." I enunciated. I don't want you risking your life for me. If something happened to you -" I can't finish that sentence. I don't want to finish that thought. I begin to get upset. Quickly, I turn away from Mulder. I don't want him seeing me like this. "Scully," he whispered. He is right in front of me now. He sees my tears. He touches my hand. "Scully?" I look up at him. "I . . . I just want you to be safe." I murmured. "I know." he began. "I didn't think about . . ." "You never do. I worry about that." I admitted. I always worry about that. He'll never know how much. I get afraid that one day I'll never see him again. More tears run down my cheeks. I need to go to bed so he won't see me this way. This upset. Mulder moves closer to me. So close. I can almost feel his breath against my skin. Then his lips touch my cheek gently. Soothingly. Then my lips. Soon we are kissing - desperate, frantic kisses. I hear him whisper he's sorry in between breaths. I feel his arm come around me pulling me closer. I don't resist. I am swept away by the moment. But then somewhere in the back of my mind I feel we shouldn't be . . . I shouldn't let myself get carried away. I pulled away from him. "You need to get some rest." I pointed out. "I . . . I should go." Wednesday I kept waking up in the middle of the night thinking about the kisses we shared. We had an argument and we were getting carried away by our emotions. That was it. Mulder didn't mean to kiss me like that. He was just trying to comfort me. Then why was I afraid to face him this morning? I took a shower and got dressed, taking my time with the morning ritual. Mulder was already awake when I walked into the living room. "Scully, I'm sorry." I knew it. I knew he didn't mean it. Then why was I disappointed? "I shouldn't have brought up your cancer." he explained. "I know how painful that was for you." Why didn't he mention the kisses? "That's all right. I shouldn't have yelled at you. You were only thinking of me." Mulder kisses me on the forehead. "I'm always thinking of you." he murmured. He kisses me again. On the lips. I don't understand what's gotten into him. He's never shown me this much affection. Sure, we've hugged and touched, but they were always comforting gestures. Never like last night. "Mulder, what are we doing?" I questioned. "You don't like it?" "No . . . I didn't say that. It just seems sudden, that's all." He looks at me like he doesn't understand what I mean. "Sudden?" he grinned. "You can't tell me you haven't noticed this chemistry between us, Scully?" Where is this coming from? He's acting like this is a game. "Yes, I have," I agreed. "Of course." The rest of the day was full of our chemistry. Every look, every touch was full of this underlying tension. I helped him put on his shirt like I did the past two days. I was trying to be professional, just think of him as a patient. In theory that might work, but touching his arm and chest and trying not to feel anything was hard. Pretending I didn't want to run my hands all over his chest. To feel his skin against my own. "I'd say your bedside manner is great, Scully. I never thought doctors would be *this* attentive." He smiled at me. "Or this beautiful." "Thank you." I mumbled, feeling somewhat flustered by his compliment. It was like we had been transported to another dimension where we were the same people, but our emotions were amplified by a thousand. I'm trying to enjoy it, but still feel a little hesitant. That boundary line between platonic and romantic had been erased. As if a great wave washed away the last vestiges of it, giving us permission to cross to the other side. It excited me and scared me at the same time. Thursday To hell with it. I'm not going to analyze my emotions anymore. I've made a decision and going to stick to it. I'm going to just wing it and do whatever comes to mind. Be more spontaneous. Like Mulder. I walked into my bathroom only to find Mulder not quite dressed yet. He's still wearing a towel and finishing shaving. This upsets me a little. I liked the feel of his unshaven face against my skin. The roughness of it next to my face and neck. I wonder what it would feel like all over my body. I hopped up on the counter and kiss him hungrily. I smell my soap on his skin, my shampoo in his hair, but mixed with his scent. Oh God. "I'll let you finish." I walked out, somewhat unsteadily, closing the door behind me. We spent the day never more than a few feet from each other. It was wonderful. Kissing and touching were the only thing we did. Mulder's arm made it hard to do much else. I know I was a distraction and should let him rest. I couldn't help it. I wanted to be close to him. I really should go to work tomorrow. Back to reality. I didn't want to leave him alone all day, the reasons being more personal than professional. I felt the spell will be broken if I ventured out the door. I am half-asleep in Mulder's arms trying to muster the energy to get up and go to bed. "Scully, are you awake?" "Yes, I'm getting up." I mumbled. "You're so warm. I don't want to leave." "Then don't. Stay here with me tonight." He placed a soft kiss on my neck. I could, couldn't I? We could just sleep. Nothing else. Maybe. Maybe not. I start to get up, but he wrapped his arm around my waist. We start kissing again and I press myself closer to him, momentarily forgetting about his shoulder. He pulled away, a look of frustration on his face. "It's all right. I have to get up early anyway." "Why?" "I'm going back to work tomorrow." I answered. Friday I'm trying to be quiet and not wake Mulder up as I put my make-up on in the bathroom. The door is open even though I'm standing here half-dressed. Well, I do have a slip on. It's early. 7 a.m. I didn't want to get up. It would have been harder if I slept with Mulder. I mean just sleep. We can't do anything because of his shoulder. "Scully?" Mulder whispered softly, standing in the doorway. "Mulder, you startled me." I was so lost in my thoughts, I didn't even hear him in the other room. "Sorry." "What do you need?" "You." he replied before coming closer to me sliding his hand underneath my slip. Mulder searched my eyes for any hesitancy, but there is none to find. I feel his hand at the waistband of my panties. It's a good thing I didn't put my pantyhose on yet. He eased them down my legs and I stepped out of them. His fingers made their way up my inner thighs, threading through the soft curls. I arched myself closer to his fingers. They stroke my outer lips which are moist with my arousal. I move my legs apart slightly and he slides a finger inside me. Then another. I clutch at his shirt, trying to avoid leaning into his injured arm, but it may be hard pretty soon. "Like this?" Mulder asked. "Deeper." Somehow I manage to speak. I moaned as his fingers thrust deeper inside my body. His thumb moving over my clit. My hips arch against his hand. His fingers moving in and out of me smoothly. I cry out his name as my body shudders from the orgasm. I press myself against his chest and his fingers ease themselves out of my trembling body. Mulder's arm comes around my waist. I feel his lips against my hair. My arms go around his waist, as my body and breathing try and return to normal. A few moments later he whispered: "You're going to be late for work." "I don't care." I muttered. I thought I heard him laugh at my comment. "You look beautiful." He tells me before leaving the room. I turned around to the mirror. My face is still flush from the orgasm. I smiled to myself and finish getting dressed. **** "Lovers forever . . . . face to face My city or mountains . . . stay with me stay I need you to love me . . . I need you today" --Stevie Nicks He is gone. I got back from work only to find an empty apartment. I searched for a note, some clue as to where he'd gone. But, his stuff was gone. No message on the machine. Why would he just leave especially after this morning. Oh God. What if something happened to him? Maybe he's at the hospital. No. They would have called me, right? I called his home number. His cell phone. His work number. Nothing. Maybe he'll call me tonight. **** The weekend passed. Nothing. I called him every hour. I checked my email several times a day, just in case. However, if he can't pick up a phone, he sure as hell won't be using a computer. I was afraid something had happened to him. I prayed he was all right. The apartment seemed so quiet without him. The silence that I enjoyed so much began to annoy me and I would turn on the stereo or TV just to have some background noise. Work was boring. I half expected him to show up on Monday, but with his injury, he probably wanted some time off. I asked Kersh about it, but he hadn't heard from Mulder either. Not that I really expected Mulder to ask permission for some medical leave time, but it was worth a shot. I was having a hard time concentrating. I kept looking at his desk in front of me. Imaging him leaning back in his chair making some remark to me how boring our jobs were now. I also imagined him doing other things to me, much more pleasurable than these background checks I was doing. Staying on task was hard for me right now, especially since the emotional roller coaster I'd been on this past week. It was Thursday. No word from him. My fear had turned into anger. Anger over him leaving me with no word at all. Trust was the foundation of our relationship and he'd just violated it. Again. The worst part was that I cried at night. Every night. I had dreams of Mulder. Good dreams. Dreams of him holding me. Making love to me. Whispering words of love to me in the middle of the night. Promising me forever. I didn't want to dream of him. I wanted to forget that week had ever happened. That would have been easier if I didn't care about him so much. My heart already belonged to him. I want to give him my body as well. To make it complete. But how can I if I don't trust him? Don't trust him to be here for me when I need him. To be here for each other. **** I decided to go over to his apartment. After all, I had a key and he had to come home sooner or later. There were no memories of *us* here which offered me some peace of mind. He couldn't stay away forever. "Scully? Scully?" I heard Mulder's voice near me. For a moment I wasn't sure where I was. I must have dozed off on his couch. He was sitting on the edge beside me. "Mulder." "What are you doing here?" he asked me. I sit up on the couch, blinking my eyes at the light. "I figured this would be the best way to find you." I stressed. "Where the hell have you been?" I noticed the bandage was no longer on his arm. "I'm sorry, Scully. I had to -" "No, sorry isn't acceptable." I snapped at him. "You couldn't have called me, I was worried something happened. It's been over a week. A *week.* " Mulder got up, taking a deep breath before beginning. "I got a call from my informant again. I had to go." I was so disappointed in him at that moment. "Mulder, don't you remember our conversation. I told you didn't have to do this." I scolded. "That tells me you don't care about my feelings. They're not important to you." "He said he had information about my sister." he stated, raw emotion evident in his voice. "Besides you." he added. "Do you really believe that?" I questioned. "These sources of yours how credible can they be?" "I have to know." Mulder responded. "Scully, you know how much this means to me. "How can you even say these things to me?" "Mulder," I began, "I know more than anything you want to find the truth about your sister, but I'm worried that you'll believe anything these people tell you. I don't want to see you get hurt. Not just physically, but emotionally as well." "I know, Scully. I'll be fine." he claimed. "Don't worry." "Don't ask me not to worry about you!" I exclaimed. "Not when you go off when someone does nothing but breathe your sister's name." He looked hurt. Maybe that hit a little too close to home. "Don't ask me to choose between you or my sister." Mulder told me. "Because I can't." He slumped down on the couch. "No, of course not." I said softly. "What did you find out?" "He gave me an envelope, but how do I know if the information is correct? I don't. Maybe. Possibly." he sighed. "I'm sorry." I kiss him gently on the forehead. Mulder wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me closer. It feels so good to have him hold me. *Really* hold me. He looked up at me, pleading with his eyes for me to stay. I can't forgive him this easy. Not yet. "Get some rest." I suggested before heading home. **** The next day Mulder came back to work. He was quieter than usual. We didn't talk much, each of us focused on our work. I wish we could go back to that morning before he left. Everything seemed so much easier back then. Maybe I was expecting too much from him. Maybe we weren't ready to take the next step in the relationship or was it just a matter of time before we made love? I wasn't expecting Mulder to tell me he was wrong and I was right. That's not what I wanted. Did I have the right to tell him not to try and explore every possible avenue that might lead to finding out the truth about his sister's disappearance? No. However, I felt I deserved some explanation of his activities. We are partners after all. Partners. That's a real inadequate description of our relationship. The word seems so outdated in today's world. Now if I put the word life in front of it, I like it much better. I'm not saying that I want to be Mulder's wife, but I can't imagine my life without him now. I wasn't quite asleep yet when I heard someone in my bedroom. "It's just me, Scully." Mulder said. "What are you doing here?" "Can I turn on the light?" he asked, moving towards my bed. "Yes." I replied. He looks serious and I wonder exactly what's brought him out here so late. "You have every right to worry about me." he said. "I'm not used to people caring about me the way you do." I just sit there and listen. Hoping he'll open up to me more. "I know you told me not to go -that you were afraid for my safety. I had to know about Samantha, but then he mentioned your name and I fell back into my old habits. I almost went to meet the contact, but then I thought of something happening to me and nobody would be able to protect you." he admitted. "Mulder - I don't need to be protected." I reassured him. "I know you don't, but I want to protect you, Scully." he tells me. "You can tell me not to, but I won't listen. I have a habit of not listening." he said with a smile. "I should have told you where I was going, but I knew you would try to talk me out of it." he continued, "If the situation were reversed, I'd expect to know why you took off. You would tell me, though. That's just you." "Mulder," I began, "I have no right to tell you that you can't do everything in your power to find your sister. More than anything I want you to be reunited with her." "You'd like her, Scully. I know you would." he commented. "However, I don't really know her myself. I only know the girl she was, not the woman she has become." I listen to the sadness that fills his voice. "I'm sure I would, Mulder. How could I not like her - she's your sister." He pulled me into his arms. The bed shifts under our weight. I close my eyes and feel his lips on my forehead. His breath on my hair. "When did you get the bandage off? I asked. "A couple of days ago." he answered. "Now I can hold you." He already is. And it feels wonderful. Almost like the way I felt that morning before he left. "Mulder, if you didn't get a call from your contact would you have left that day. I . . I mean after that morning in the bathroom." I whispered. "No, of course not," he says softly. "We couldn't do much else because of me. But now . . ." his voice trails off. His lips capture mine in a passionate kiss. I thread my fingers through his hair, pulling him closer. Running my hands down his neck and over his chest before raising the shirt up and over his body. I loved the way his skin felt under my hands. Mulder moved back on the bed, taking me with him. Before I realized it I was on top of him. He wraps his arms around my back bringing me into a passionate kiss. I want more. I want to taste him. Moving my lips down to his neck and chest, swirling my tongue over his nipples. There was still a faint bruise from where his ribs had healed. I pressed my lips against it. I unzip his jeans and reach inside his boxers finding him hard. My name escapes his lips softly. It spurs me on and I begin to stroke him slowly letting him feels the pleasure he gave me earlier. His eyes are closed. He is moaning softly. I slide my hand up and down faster. I want him to come. "Scully . . ." he groaned. I bend down to take him in my mouth, but he stops me. "Scully, wait . . ." He sits up and moves out from under me. "What is it?" I asked. "Not . . . not like this." he tells me. "You don't want to -" "Yes, I do." He corrects me. "Of course." I smiled at him. "Me too." "Let me, Scully." He looked at me tenderly. "Let me take care of you. Like you did for me." Mulder kissed me before I had a chance to respond and rolled me underneath him. He began to undo the buttons on my pajama top one by one. By the time he got to the last one I could barely stand it and he hadn't even touched me yet. He parted the material a little so the fabric barely clung to my breasts. His mouth started a path down the middle of my chest. I could see the trail of wetness left by his tongue. He stopped just at the waistband of my pants. Mulder lifted me up a little in order to slip the top off me. He wrapped his arms around me pressing me against his chest. "Mulder . . ." I breathed. My breasts were against his chest. Skin on skin. I pressed my lips against his shoulder. His hands made their way to my breasts. Caressing. Stroking. We were sitting the middle of the bed. Our legs wrapped around each other's bodies. I was struggling to stay upright as his lips closed over my nipple. I moaned his name as he began to suck on it gently. The other one received the same loving treatment. I laced my fingers through his hair, chanting his name over and over just before he lowered me down to the bed. Reaching down, he relieved me of my pajama bottoms and then panties. Mulder's hands and lips were all over me now, making their way down my body and past my navel. Then I got scared. The first time during this whole seduction. I felt him spread my legs apart. and his mouth on my inner thighs. I tensed up. I've never let any man do *that* to me before. It seemed so intimate and I wanted it to be the right person. I know that sounds corny, but I want to share it with someone I trusted. Then it dawned on me. Who do I trust more than Mulder? Mulder must have felt me tensed up. He stopped and looked up at me. "Scully, what's wrong?" he asked. I smile at him. "Nothing." I replied. "Nothing." His head resumed its place between my thighs. Placing soft kisses on the sensitive skin there. Gently, his tongue moved inside me. God, it feels wonderful. Then licking and stroking over my clit. "Oh God, Mulder." I whimpered. "Yes. . . like that. Yes." My fingers tangle in his hair. My hips arched against him. This is too much. He slips two fingers inside me. I moan loudly as they make their way deeper. Oh God. "Mulder!" I cried out. "Oh, Mulder. Mulder. . ." I clutched at the bedspread, his fingers still inside me. Mulder is holding me now, placing soft kisses all over my face. I reach for his hand and we lace our fingers together as my body recovers from the orgasm. The aftershocks still making my body tremble. He must have taken off the rest of his clothes because I feel his erection against my thigh. I moved my body up to his. "Scully," he gasped. "Scully . . . " Mulder eases himself inside me. I wrap my thighs around him, wanting him all of him in my body. I don't want him holding back. He understood and comes inside me all the way. My arms come around his back. "This feels so good. So good." I moaned. "So good." His face was buried in my neck, his lips against my throat. "Don't move . . . not yet." I whispered. "Not yet." "I won't." he mumbled. "I want to feel this, too." We did, if only for a few moments before he began to thrust inside me. Pretty soon our bodies were moving in unison and my nails were digging into his back. I could tell he was straining to hold out longer and it seemed to hurt him. Then I remembered his shoulder. But I couldn't concentrate on anything except him deep inside me. Surrounding me. I buried my face against his shoulder as another orgasm washed over me. "Mulder . . . " He murmured my name over and over as he collapsed on top of me. I held him against me as our bodies recover from the onslaught, whispering soothing words. Mulder rolls off of me, rubbing his shoulder. I can tell it's hurting him and I kiss it tenderly. He caresses my face gently and I press my lips into his palm. Mulder pulls me against his chest and I close my eyes reveling in the feel of his arms around me. I want to stay awake and feel him hold me, but I'm so sleepy. The last thing I remember is his lips on my forehead telling me it was all right. **** I awake to memories. The memory of Mulder telling me he loved me all those months ago. I didn't take him seriously. I must have hurt him. The tears fall softly on my pillow. I can't stop them. Mulder will hear me sobbing. "Scully, what's wrong?" Mulder mumbled. "Why are you crying?" He leans over me, stroking my hair back from my face. "I'm sorry." I cried. "I'm so sorry." "For what?" "Not believing you when you told me you loved me." I answered. "I just walked away." I wiped the tears from my eyes. "Scully . . . It's all right." he told me, holding me close. "No, it's not." I argued. "I should have . . ." "Scully, I -" "Mulder, I love you." I sobbed. "I love you so much." A look of relief washes over his face and he gathers me into his arms. I whispered those three words over and over as he continues to hold me tightly. I never remember being held so much by him before. Maybe it's the intimacy of this moment. I'm not complaining at all, just savoring every embrace. Mulder makes love to be again, slowly and tenderly until I can no longer stand it and shudder in his arms. **** It was well after noon. I think. We had gotten up for breakfast, only because I was starving. I couldn't understand why Mulder wasn't hungry after last night. Good thing it was Saturday. We didn't have to worry about a schedule. We were back in bed again. "I don't want to go back to work." I confessed. "We still have another day." Mulder snuggled closer to me. "I know, but we'll still have to get back to reality." I announced. "What if it changes. . . I mean it will be different. We'll fall back into a routine." "Work is not going to change anything, Scully." he vowed. "What if they separate us? We don't have the X-Files anymore." "You're still my partner. Nothing's going to change that." Mulder looks into my eyes. "What do you think is going to happen?" "We won't have enough time together." I stated. "We'll be too busy." "Then we'll make time." Mulder said. "We'll go away together." I sit up, pulling the covers under my arms. "Go away together?" "Yes. Whenever we can manage it. A night. A weekend." he explained. "No one or nothing is going to change *this.* " "No one." I whispered. **** END I'm including a poem I wrote that I feel goes along with the theme of this story. This is the first time I wrote a poem and wanted to share it. Passion The spark was always there The flame has been nourished The fire will burn forever