Title: Whistling Author: RocketMan Disclaimer: Mulder and Scully belong to CC, 1013, and Fox. No fringe intended. Dedicated:::: to XochiLuvr for the challenge. Dialogue only, like you said. Quote within. ;-) =-=-=-= A whistling woman and a crowing hen come to no good end. --Southern maxim =-=-=-= "Grab that, Scully!" "Oh crap...." "Ow, ow, ow--" "Hush, Mulder. Hold on." "Scully!" "Got it. Put the board over there and keep your big feet away from the hammer." "Sorry..." "Mulder. . .just let me do this." "How come your mom's ceiling fan fell out, Scully? I don't think it's such a good idea to be replacing it when it's so hazardous--" "That's why I asked you to come over--" "Because it's hazardous. Gee, thanks." "No." "Don't laugh." "No, because you're tall enough to reach the boards." "The porch ceiling isn't that high, Scully. I'm sure you could reach--oh, no. You're right. You can't." "Mulder--" "I got it. Here. Try getting up on the ladder and hammering while I hold it in place. Jeez, the hole is huge." "She said it scared her to death. She thought someone was trying to break into the house." "Poor woman. She's lucky she wasn't out here when the thing fell down--looks like all these boards are rotted through." "Yeah, well, she doesn't come out here very much. Too many bugs get through the screens." "We could patch those, as long as we're here." "I never figured you for the handyman type, Mulder." "I'll show you just how handy I can be. . ." "That was really very lame." "You put me on the spot there, Scully--" "No. I was talking about my hammering job. It's hard to get the nail straight when I'm hammering upside down. . ." "Yeah, I've had that problem before." "Mulder." "Yes, dear?" "Hand me the other nail." "There. . .is that the right size?" "Think so. Does it matter?" " "Oooh, I'm impressed. Mr. Home Improvement over here. You really are handy." "Oh....hush. You're flattering me." "Someone has to." "..." "Mulder?" "Yeah?" "I think maybe we should nix the ceiling fan. I think the boards are still too rotted." "Even with the new ones?" "Yeah. My mom should just have this redone. But if you don't mind, we can patch the screens. She would really love that." "Sure. It's Mother's Day--I should do something for someone's mom." ". . ." "It's okay, Scully. I'm not gonna bawl all over you or anything." "I know. I just. . .Thanks for helping me." "No problem. Besides, out here on your mom's porch is the closest I've gotten to nature in a long time." "Well, there was our enlightening experience with hallucinogens. Stuck in that digestive secretion for hours. . ." "Yuck. But better than these mosquitos. Jeez, they're killers." "Here." "Ow." "Sorry, Mulder. You had a huge mosquito on your arm." "Sure, right. Just get the screening and bring it over here. I think we can use this to patch it up." "Okay." "...." "Oh, wait, hush." "Huh?" "Look, Mulder. A rabbit." "So?" "Mulder." "It's not even a bunny, Scully. It's a full grown rabbit. You can see those on Animal Planet." "You know, Mulder, you're ruining the moment." "Moment? This was supposed to be a moment? Did I miss something?" "Oh look, it's a raccoon." "They eat people's garbage." "Mulder!" "Sorry, sorry. Look, a bird." "Uh...great." "I'm trying to get into the spirit here--Ouch! Watch where you're aiming that staple gun!" "Sorry. Did it get you?" "Yes...." "Here....oh, you're bleeding. . ." "Not too bad. . .look at the animals, Scully, and let me do this." "I can help, Mulder--" "No, no, I think you can't. It's gonna look like crap anyway. We should have ripped out the screens and replaced them." "We can do that next time." "Next time? Oh no, Scully, there's not going to be a next time." "Not even for my mom?" ". . ." "Oh, look at that! That is so. . ." "Disgusting?" "It's nature, Mulder. Get used to it." "Nature. . .but that is just disgusting." "No--" "Yes it is. I mean, that poor female frog....all hunched over and croaking--" "Never would have pegged you for the women's lib type, Mulder." "Oh, I'm very a sensitive guy." "Sure you are." "I am." "Keep stapling, Mulder." "Grumble, grumble, grumble." "Say something?" "Ah--no." "That's what I thought." "..." "They're leaving now, the frogs." "They needed to get a room." "They're frogs." "It's disusting!" "Frogs do it, bees do it, even monkeys, Mulder." "So why aren't we? What's that line--'You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals, so let's do it like they do it on the Disovery Channel.'" "Staple, Mulder. Just shut up and staple." "Yes dear." "Good boy. Maybe later I'll give you a treat." =-=-=-= end adios RM