Title: Momma 3
Author: RocketMan >lbontger@wmcstations.com<
Disclaimer: Mulder and Scully are the property of CC, 1013, and Fox. No
infringement is intended.
Rating: A, future story......read Momma before.......sorry for that last
one, it was short, but I had to get off and let my brother use the
computer.

Momma 3

The letter was written on regular notebook paper, with a black pen, so
that her handwriting was distinct and clear.
I could tell near the end she was getting weak by the way the letters
wobbled. 
I sighed and began.

<Dear  Julia, 
   I'm not writing this letter to make you or Mulder cry (or me). I'm
not even sure this will touch you in any way either. If not, give it to
Mulder and let him read it, babe. I'm sure he'd like it.
 I'm writing this to let you know what your Momma was like, who she was,
why she chose to have you instead of chemo, maybe even why you look like
you do. Hopefully you got Mulder's lithe body and not my hips. If so, I
am so sorry, babe.
  I'm going to give this to my mother because Mulder would think I'm
giving up and that I don't have faith in the truth, therfore, no faith
in him. That's not true. I do have faith in him, but the answer to this
is in science, not truth, and so far, science is unhopeful and truth is
elusive.
  I guess, first I want to tell you about Mulder. Yes, I know you're
thinking that I was going to talk about me, but Mulder is so much a part
of me, that he is me. You have to know how I see him to understand me.
  Mulder's very sensitive, though he never shows it, adn his story is a
sad one that he needs to tell you someday if he hasn't. Love is hard to
fathom for him, but I hope I've shown him what it really is. I think
that you will be good for him. He needs soemone that will love him
unconditionally. I do, but I may not be around.
  Don't let him make himself out to be the bad guy in this. I chose to
go ahead with the pregnancy because I knew he wanted children very
badly, to have something that was both him and me. And I knew I would be
dying from this cancer......
  He tends to magnify one small thing and blow it up to colossal
proportions until it seems that a grave injustice has been done. Don't
let him tell you that he wanted you to die. He didn't. He wanted me
safe, and he wanted you safe, and it was very foolish what I did. We
could have both died if he hadn't been there, if I hadn't listened to
him. He told me at the beginning that it wasn't the best idea but once
I'd made up my mind, he followed. Mulder was very suportive and when he
saw you . . . oh babe, he fell in love. Like I'd hoped.
  During the pregnancy I was so weak that I couldn't even stay
conscious, so I don't remember much of it. It was C-section because of
health issues, but I felt so sick and weak afterwards that I wouldn't
let him see me. I thought . . . I just didn't think he needed to see me
like that. I've always been his strength.
  But for someone as unloved as he was as a child, he does a good job of
fighting back.
  And I'm right there fighting too.
  I *am* crying.
And I really didn't want to do that. I wanted to show you who I was and
this isn't me. Not usually anyway. I'm not a crier. I'm the sttrong one.
That's why it's so hard to sit here and know that I can't be the strong
one. 
  I'm strong willed and obstinate and Mulder says I'm beautiful, and
says he wants you to have my hair and my eyes.
 I hope you don't hate the hair. I did as a kid because everyone called
me Red or Flame and I hated it.
  Let me tell you about your name. We picked Julia because it had no
attachments. It didn't remind us of something awful that happened or a
horible case we went on. It's about the only name we could think of that
we both liked and didn't bring back bad memories.
 (We went through a lot of names simply because of your father's video
habit. Ask him sometime. Oh boy, he's going to hate me.)
So, it's just a name, but refreshing in that fact.
  It's not so easy to describe myself I see. I hope this gives you
enough. I am being as honest as I possibly know how. If not, talk to
your father. He's really going to love all these questions you probably
now have.
  Right now, I'm sitting beside your crib bed, babe, and you're looking
up at me with those blue eyes and I can't help but wish that I could
live. But when I'm too weak to even hold my you, babe, I don't really
see how I'm going to last.
But I'll never give up.
Take care of your Daddy for me.
Mulder's very . . . Mulder. There's no way to describe him.
Oh! You just said Momma and held up your arms to me. I'll get Mulder in
here to pick you up and let me hold you. He' so gentle . . . I know
you're taken care off.
I love you Julia.
Love, Momma
Dana Scully.>

I sighed and let the letter drift to the bed.
I'm going to let Dad read it.
I now know her.
My mother.
And it hurts that she died, but I'm glad I at least know her now.
But before I ask Dad more about Momma......
"Hey, Dad! What's your video habit that kept you from naming me
something else?"
I heard a groan, then, "Thanks a lot Scully!"

Adios
RocketMan