Title: I'm Not Sure II......the saga continues....
Author: RocketMan >lbontger@wmcstations.com<
Disclaimer: They do not belong to me, I am holding them at gunpoint and
forcing them to obey my every whim. Otherwise, you know they'd never do
this. Especially because CC owns them.
UST---once again---UST

I'm Not Sure II (1/1)

I think I see his teeth behind those dark lips of his.
I'm not sure.
My brain has been rather fuzzy ever since I got this fixation. I think I
need to redirect my energies elsewhere......say maybe to his eyes.
Oh.......his eyes.......
So deeply seductive......
<Snap out of it!>
Okay, come on, Dana, let's get out of the gutter here.
I pick up a file and start to read about the Freudian concepts behind
this particular killer's pysche and how it determines his next moves.
All in all a very thorough dissection of the man's mind.
Didn't Freud believe that every person's inner desires where controlled
by unconscious thought, most of which were aggressive and sexual?
Sexual.......oh mine definitely are today.
Look at those eyes.....they are capturing me with nothing but color.
He's not even looking at me, but there they are......holding my
attention as if taking my rational thoughts hostage.
Maybe it's because he kissed me....maybe because I looked up to see
those so brown eyes peering at me as if I were the last woman on earth.
Those so brown eyes peeling away layer after layer of my soul's hidden
truths, they have enchanted me, taken me far from the barren reaches of
this overwhelming sorrow that is in me constantly.
Those so brown eyes have transported me to a world of......a world
of.....
I'm not sure.
Oh, crud, what am I doing?
I'm not sure!
How could I be staring at him, wishing his eyes would hold love, when
I'm not sure I love him back.......when I'm not even sure I'll be around
to love him back!
I'm not even sure he really kissed me and meant it.
He wanted to get my attention.
And he definitely did.
But of course, he already had my attention.
It's just not exactly in the right place....
"Scully?"
I jerk up, see the accusatory look in his <gulp> eyes and try to look as
if I have been reading the case file.
"Scully, are you distracted again?"
I'm not sure how to answer this.
If I say yes, will I get another kiss?
If I say yes, will he decide I'm all together too desperate?
If I say no-
"Scully!"
I smile at him a little. Shessh, how stupid can I get?
"I think you're distracted again....and I think I'll have to fix that."
Oh My Gosh..
He's coming over here again, I can feel his footsteps on the concrete, I
can see his lips parting as he comes near, I can watch his eyes contract
and dialate, I can feel his breath upon my cheek...
I am feeling his lips upon my mouth.....
"Mulder....."
It comes as a whisper deep inside.......reaching from all the way in my
gut, where instinct and love are trapped like a pair of peacemaking
doves.
"Mulder......"
He pulls back, I see fear in his brown eyes, I see sorrow, I see a
overwhelming hope.
"Is this what you want, Scully?" he asks tenderly.
Oh........I could cry.
"I'm not sure."
Why can't I just say yes, and have him kiss me again? Why does my stupid
head have to always be involved in this?
"Okay...."
And he sits in front of me, perching on the edge of his desk, his legs
dangling like a little kid waiting for a treat.
"Are you just going to wait there until I make up my mind?" I ask,
incredulous.
"I'll wait anywhere until you make up your mind." he says confidently.
"You really will?"
Somehow I can't believe this.
Maybe it's because I wouldn't do it myself.
"I really will. I'm sure I will."
I sit there, file trembling in my hand.
What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to say to that?
"Thanks you," I finally answer.
How lame.......
"Anytime." he says.
He's sure.
I'm not sure at all.
He's the believer after all.

adios
RocketMan