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Date: Fri, 17 Jul 1998 18:49:38 +0000
From: Lyle Bontrager <lbontger@wmcstations.com>
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Subject: Greek Tragedy (1/1)
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Title: Greek Tragedy
Author: RocketMan >lbontger@wmcstations.com<
Disclaimer: Mulder and Scully belong to CC, 1013, and Fox. No fringe is
intended. I promise to put them back to their proper places when I
finished.
Summary: Alternate Universe, MSR, maybe kind of weird at first. Minor
character death. This assumes a relationship rather than builds one.
Notes: This is a stupid, soap opera kind of story. Read at your own
risk.

~~~~~
Greek Tragedy
~~~~~

I watch his back as he thunders from the office, raining curses and
anger wherever he hits.

I shouldn't have said that.

I shouldn't have said a lot of things, but mainly, I shouldn't have said
*that.*

I sigh, twirl the pencil on his desk, wonder if he'll be coming back,
and if he does, I think it's probably best that I not be here.

I stand, cramped from sitting in his chair at the end of his desk for an
hour, my muscles complaining about lack of exercise all day today.

It is so quiet without Mulder's words wrapped around the office. It's
almost scary, with the absolute silence that has reigned ever since he
walked out.

It's like the little forest creatures got scared off and went into
hiding. I'm pretty sure there are forest creatures down here, it's just
that you don't notice them until they're gone.

I shuffle papers around, digging through his mess to find my own case,
wondering if Mulder truly does know where everything is. He couldn't
possibly.

It's even more silent when I close the door behind me and lock it with
the key he leaves for me.

A sharp click of the door, then the muffled tumblers as it secures.

I stop, breathe in tightly.

Man, this case sure does have me spooked. I see murderers everywhere.
Even in silence.

The killer will be back. He's not going to disappear forever. I know
that.

I try to convince myself I know this.

I sure feel it.
~~~~~

The door falls open and a pair of small, strong arms go around my legs
like manacles.

I smile, ruffle her hair, and shed my jacket and briefcase.

"How's my baby?" I say, lifitng her up.

Her bright eyes are huge, so big for such a small face. She kisses my
cheek and sneaks her arms around my neck, squeezing hard.

That's Jaimie's new thing, to try and see just how hard she can hug you.

"Oh. Baby. Good hug."

"Mommy, Daddy told me to tell you not to fight with him anymore because
it makes him mad."

I raise my eyebrows. "Daddy's here?"

"Did you hurt Daddy?"

I frown. "What else did Daddy tell you?"

He doesn't need to get Jaimes involved in all this. It was just a stupid
work fight.

"He told me to tell you that he didn't mean it."

I hear a muffled noise from the door leading to the kitchen and I slit
my eyes.

"He did huh?"

"And he said he loves you very very much and that-"

"I did not!"

I roll my eyes as Mulder bursts into the hallway, unable to contain
himself any longer. Jaimie giggles and spreads her arms for him to hold
her.

I watch him carefully.

"You're such a child, Mulder."

He shakes his head, grabs Jaimie from me, and heads toward the living
room. Jaimes watches over his shoulder, her frown a silent testament to
the wrongness here.

There's more than just a stupid work fight between us.

For the millionth time a though rockets around in me:

Mulder and I will never work out.

I'm glad it's something we never tried. I'm glad that he comes over for
the night and then goes back to his own home.

I wish I could separate myself from him entirely, but with Jaimes at the
center of both our lives, it's kind of hard.

He has his X-Files though, and that partner of his, Scully.

I don't think I could ever love Mulder like he really needs to be loved.
And it would hurt me too much to try.

"Hey, Lisa? Scully's coming over, if that's okay."

I sigh, wanting very dearly to never have to see any of them ever again,
but smile and shove off my heels.

"Sure, Mulder. You know Jaimes loves her."

That's the first thing that hurts me. That Jaimes and her are so close.
Like I could be shoved right out of the picture and it wouldn't even
matter.

But I'm her mother. I'm her mother.

"Mommy!"

"Yeah?"

"Will you make maccaroni and cheese?"

I drop my shoes next to the door, seeing that Mulder did the same. So
maybe he still respects me somewhat. He at least abides by the simple
rules I have--like no shoes on in the house.

"Yeah, you got it."

"YEAH!"

Her scream is deafening, and I'm sure Mulder's ears are ringing.

"Hey, Hey. Calm down, sweetheart."

"Can we all go see a movie, Mommy?"

I feel his eyes fall directly to me. "No, baby. But you can go with
Daddy and Dana, I don't mind."

"Are you sure Mommy?"

"Sure. Don't worry."

Jaimes, despite being only four, thinks that her parents should be
together, and every instance she gets, she tries to put us together. I
don't know what she thinks Dana is, some kind of best friend for her or
something. Because she loves Dana. 

I have to keep telling myself. Mulder and I would never work.

I was angry, he was lonely and confused and needing her so bad, I had
just gotten into the X-Files because of her second disappearance. . .
and well, things had happened.

I'm ashamed to say they did. But I love my baby girl. 

I respect Dana more than anyone I know. She forgave him.

They weren't together at the time, but they practically were.

And she forgave him.

When I found out how things were, when she came back, I was madder than
anything. 

I have never forgiven him, and I never will.

I still haven't forgiven myself.

I watch as Mulder comes back into the kitchen, annoyance on my face as
his shoes squeak. 

I wish he'd just take them off in the house for once.
~~~~~

"Mulder . . . are you sure this is a good idea?" Scully says and casts a
sharp glance to me.

"No. Seriously. You guys go. Jaimes wants to go and I frankly didn't
want to have to take her. I'm not really in to Disney."

It's meant as a sort of insult to Mulder, because he's always been
enthralled by Disney, and of course, Dana catches it.

She smiles at me.

Even though I just insulted her man. Her man.

That's pretty funny. She probably wants to kill me, truly.

Jaimes runs in, her feet tapping with excitement as she jumps solidly
into my lap.

I can see Mulder in her every time she's excited. Same half hoping look,
same eyes, same sharp smell of something more.

I can see that Scully sees it too.

They all get on their coats, pull Jaimie's sharply around her, making
faces, laughing, being a family.

Then they leave.

It's at these times, in these after moments, when I realize one
important thing.

I don't want Mulder.

And I don't want to live like Scully does, constantly putting up with
his crap, his mistakes, his accidents.

Like Jaimes.

Jaimie is my child, and I love her, and I would do it all over again to
have her.

Sometimes I think it would be better though, if I just gave Jaimie to
them, let them start their own life instead of being halfway in mine all
the time.

It's been a lot better since I left the X-Files and started up with the
VCS, except for the occassional time where I have to call on his
wonderful mind to solve something for us.

Mulder sees Jaimes every day; she spends every other weekend with him.

But I can't stand this almost relationship, this almost hurt, almost
love.

I'm pretty sure Dana doesn't like it either.

When she got back, when they dropped her back out of the sky, I was
there when Mulder ran in and held her, took her up in him like she was
the only thing that made him live.

I died that day, and I wish it had been a clean break, but that keeps
re-opening, keeps festering because Mulder never leaves.

He just won't leave.

I thought he would spend the first few months trying to pretend, then
eventually get sick of being a Daddy and leave me alone, let me get over
not having him anymore.

But Mulder never shirks his obligations, never gives up on the things he
loves.

And he loves Jaimie.

Selfishly, I wish he didn't.
~~~~~

When they get back, Mulder takes Jaimes in to her room, while Dana
stands in the kitchen with me, watching as I place the top crust on the
apple pie I started. 

When things start to hurt, I start to bake.

"Thanks, Lisa."

I look up to her, startled, wondering exactly what she wants to thank me
for. I'm the one who basically ruined her life, I'm the one who makes
Mulder mad all over again, I'm the one that just won't go away.

"What for?"

She smiles. "For letting him be a father. He needs that. It would kill
him if he thought he was turning into *his* father."

I don't know much about Mulder's family. Only that his sister was taken
and his mom and dad were sort of reticent with him.

"Yeah. Yeah, it's okay. Jaimes needs a father."

I turn to her, the look on my face letting her know that I don't do this
because I'm hoping to try and win Mulder back or anything.

"Um, Lisa?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry about . . . well, about me, I guess."

What? That he loves you more than life itself and if he had to pick
between my daughter and you, he'd pick you?

Are you sorry for that?

"I'm sorry that I'm always here, always in your way, I guess. I don't
mean to be . . . rude or -"

"Look. Dana. I know he loves you. Too bad I didn't know that earlier,
but I do know now. What we all are right now, crazy and confused as it
is, it works. I don't hate you, I don't hate how this is. I may hate
Mulder a little sometimes, but this is okay. I'm just hoping he'll get
tired of it."

Her face shows shock, a kind of look I've never seen on her before.

"Get tired of it?"

"Yeah, I didn't think he would."

I give her a kind of smile, let her know I'm kidding a little.

I pause.

If she's talking so openly, maybe I can too.

"Dana. If Jaimes bothers you, please, please let me know. Tell me, okay?
Because she loves you a lot."

Her face grows soft.

"I love her too, Lisa. Maybe not like you can, being her mother. But
she's Mulder's . . . and she's just Jaimes, and she's adorable."

I nod. Correct answer.

She is Jaimie. No matter who her father is, I needed Dana to love her
for being Jaimes.

"Do you think you'd mind if Jaimes spent the night with me?"

I look up, see Mulder's bright eyes and the little girl clutching
tightly to him.

Dana goes over, taps her nose lightly.

They're a true family.

I don't know why I didn't, couldn't, see it before.

"Yeah. Go ahead."

This is the perfect time, perfect opportunity.

I love Jaimes, and she needs stability.

Not an on again, off again family.

Mulder and I will never work.

He looks at me, his face puzzled. "Where did you get that shirt hanging
over Jaimie's bed?"

"What shirt?"

"It looks like a man's shirt."

You've got to be kidding me. He's not jealous is he? No, not that. Just
concerned I'd expose Jaimie to it.

"It's probably an old one of Gramps. He lets Jaimie play in them."

It seems to satisfy him.

I wince as his shoes squeak across the kitchen floor toward me. Jaimie
leans down and gives me a kiss.

I smile good-bye.

Finally, some quiet.

After they've left, I hear an odd noise.

It seems to echo.

I glance to the door.

Shoes.

A man's shoes.

And they're not Mulder's.

Mulder never did take his off.
~~~~~

~~~~~

Mulder walked up the stairs Saturday morning, a bit concerned because he
had tried calling Lisa, and no one had answered.

He just assumed she was in bed.

He had waken up Scully and they had met at her building though. Probably
not needed, but he had this bad feeling in him.

He used Jaimie's key to the apartment to unlock the door, shifting her
on his shoulder as she slept.

Scully pushed the door open.

"Oh no....."

Mulder shoved past her, ignoring the hand put out to stop him, ignoring
the twisted look of horror on her face.

He stopped dead still in the midst of chaos.

Lisa had never really been neat, but this was a hurricane.

This was a robbery.

The television was gone, the VCR, the microwave and computer and even
her laptop.

He felt Jaimie stiffen.

"Mommy!" she screamed and wiggled in Mulder's arms, shoving at him with
the force of a child's world ripping apart.

He took her in his arms, close to his chest, and turned around.

Behind them, close to the door with her hands stretched for escape, laid
Lisa.

A bloody, horrifying mess.

He cradled Jaimie's head to him, closed her eyes and whispered to her,
trying to dispel the image of her dead mother.

Scully shook, taking small steps toward Lisa and shoving back her tears
with an angry hand. She checked for a pulse and found nothing, then
pulled out her cell phone and called the police.

In a soft voice, Scully related the information, then turned toward
Mulder.

"Isn't this like the case she was working on?"

Mulder's face froze.

"Yes. Same method. Oh my gosh, I was trying to help her on that. We
fought and I ran out and we never got anything accomplished. If I had
just stayed, maybe we would have gotten the suspect, maybe-"

"Mulder. Stop. You're scaring Jaimie."

He pulled Jaimes closer to him, buried his face in her hair.

"Let's go outside, Jaimes."
~~~~~

With Jaimie curled up tight on the couch, her small body taking up a
small amount of space, he read over the will.

"Did she know?"

Scully looked up at him from her careful watch of Jaimie.

"Know what?"

"I mean, her lawyer told me she had just gotten this changed. Like a
week before. She was going to let Jaimie go to her parents. But she
chose us. Not just me. You too."

Scully shrugged. "I think she knew we'd do a good job. We're more
familiar to Jaimes anyway."

Mulder sighed, ran a hand over his eyes, then looked at her.

"We're a family. And I'm going to make sure this family works."

In her sleep, Jaimie smiled.
~~~~~

end
it was awful, wasn't it?
Adios
RM