========== The Emilys Forgotten ========== By RocketMan Disclaimer: The X-Files and the characters of Mulder and Scully belong to CC, 1013, and Fox. No infringement is intended and no money is being made. Libby is mine. Summary: Probing into the conspiracy surrounding the Emilys. =========== Chapter One =========== They had forgotten the others: out of necesssity to their sanity, they had forgotten the others. She had Libby and Mulder had Libby and they all had each other and they tried not to think of anything else. Nothing more about babies or the other Emilys that were still out there. They couldn't: it hurt too much. But sometimes, little things would come back. She could remember the look on Erin and Erica's faces as they were dying: this she recalled in the dead of night, trying to forget. Mulder found himself sweating and startled, awake from nightmares where the names of the boys would be chasing after him: Wesley, William, Wyatt. They took Libby to the park and had long picnic lunches with cold popsicles on the swings and ice cream on the slides. They ran races and rolled in the grass with laughter and told themselves they had forgotten. ========== "Oh no, Original One walking right up! What the hell is going on! Get her out of there! Now!Now!Now!" ========== Chicago was beautiful at times, Scully had to admit. She had been unwilling to leave San Francisco for the convention taking place here, but she had gone in the end because it was her job. Libby had been smiling and crying as she left the airport lounge and walked onto the embarking ramp, smiling because her Daddy was making her. She and Mulder had talked about it for a long time. Was it safe? Could she be followed back? Would she end up trapped out there? They were divided, but not conquered. Not yet. A whole group of inner city doctors got together to discuss treatment and special needs of inner city clinics, and the best place to do that was Chicago. And so, her own clinic had funded the trip for her and another woman to go. She was shaking in fear. Plane jitters, she had passed it off as. But it truly frightened her now. Being away from Mulder's innate security and not having the knowledge that she knew exactly where Libby was. Someone honked and she jerked from her daze and kept walking down the sidewalk. She saw a huge group of people standing around for a movie: it looked like a Disney cartoon, one that Libby had wanted to see. She was about to step into the street and move around them when a huge man barreled right into her and knocked her down. "Oh no! I'm so sorry! I'm sorry. Are you okay?" he said, pulling her up with a flick of his wrist. She nodded and he began brushing off her smudged coat. "Okay. I wasn't watching. I'm sorry. I was looking for the Original and I wasn't paying attention. I'm sorry." She nodded to indicate it was okay, but the paranoid Mulder voice in her was saying that he sounded afraid of her. Afraid because she had power. "You're okay. You're okay. Good. I'm sorry. Now, where's little Emma? Did she get lost again?" Scully stared at the man with evident confusion. Her first thought was Then she thought His face had gone slack with her look and suddenly his hands clenched tightly around her arm. She couldn't breathe. This kind of thing wasn't supposed to happen to her anymore. He jerked her forward and muttered something into a device on his lapel. She shivered with memory and thought of all the sting operations she and Mulder had been in, wearing little mikes like that. Was this some kind of government set-up she had messed up? If so, someone who looked like her was part of it evidently. Someone looking just like her with a little Emma too. Emma. Oh God. A woman broke out of the crowd and called out. "Mike!" The man reacted violently, moving Scully over so he blocked her view and causing her head to whiplash. But she saw. Coming out of the crowd with a voice she knew by heart -- Herself. Oh God, no, please, I just want this to be over. Emma. No no no..... She wrenched her arm away and began running. They couldn't do anything to her now, they couldn't. It was a crowded street, there were people and witnesses. She could run and get away and go back to her motel room and call him. Call Mulder. Oh God, this isn't happening. ===== "I like it with this better," she murmured, holding the tie up to his suit jacket and squinting. He laughed and took it from her. The tie consisted of Marvin the Martian playing basketball with his funny looking dog. "Oh you do, huh? Tell that to your mother some time, okay?" Libby smiled and watched him thread the tie through his shirt collar and make an expert knot. "Perfect!" she said and jumped up on the bed. He grabbed her and swung her back down. "Yes it is. And no jumping on the bed. Just cause Mommy isn't here, doesn't mean we're going to forget all the rules." "We can still watch TV in here and eat popcorn though, right?" Mulder took her hand and smiled, guiding her from his room. "Yup. Every night." Libby skipped on ahead and left him in the hall. He sighed and realized how utterly empty it seemed without Dana filling up the apartment. She had something in her that made him want to live. He shuffled to the kitchen and poured two glasses of orange juice. Libby made a face. "I don't like orange juice, Daddy." "You don't?" He blinked and looked dumbly at the glass. What was he supposed to do now? Make her drink it, or be soft and not? What a stupid delimna, and yet, it was very important. The phone rang loudly and he gratefully picked it up. "Hello?" "It's me." "Hey you. I was just thinking about you. I have a question." he said. She was twisting the phone cord and squeezing her eyes shut trying to imprint the memory into herself. "Okay, shoot." she said tensely. She wanted to scream. "Do you make Libby drink her orange juice?" "Of course. It's good for her." He sighed in relief and motioned for Libby to begin drinking it. She sighed and made a face and picked up the glass. She felt better with this little bit of domesticy. "So, why'd you call?" She smiled sadly and laid down on the bed. "Mulder....." "Jeez, what are you doing?" he said, growing panicked. "Don't say it over the phone --" "Please, listen. Listen to me for a second." She could hear his abrupt change in gears, the way his breath got suddenly sharp and cold. He was afraid. "Are you okay?" She made a keening noise and closed her eyes again. "No, no I'm not. I've walked into something over here. I've walked right into it." "What? What's going on?" His panic was making Libby upset and she crawled into his lap, placing her head against his chest and pulling his free arm off the kitchen table and around her. "I saw myself." "What?" Now he was just confused. "I'm serious. I was walking away from the last little session and toward my motel when I saw this huge group of people standing in line in front of a movie theatre. I was stopped and this man came running into me and knocked me down. He started apologizing and apologizing and saying strange things, things he thought I should recognize --" "Facts, Scully. Tell me facts. Not impressions." She took a deep breath and focused. His reminder of their old life made her remember her training, her cold unemotional side. "He apologized and said he was too caught up in looking for the Original and ran into me. He asked me where little Emma was, if she had gotten lost again. He got tense again and started talking into a little mike, like we used in stings." A silence as she waited for him to make the connection. She hadn't at the time, but his mind made those kind of leaps. "Emma?" he asked and his voice was sharp, wavering. He was starting to see. "And then this woman comes out of the crowd and yells "Mike." He turns to see her and his hands are still on my arms and he's getting suspicious because I haven't said anything. And Mulder, that's a fact, because you can tell when --" "Okay, okay. Keep going." "He sees her. I see her. It's . . . she's me. He panics and yanks me around so I can't see her anymore, but I pull away from him and start running. Oh God if it's --" "We don't know. We don't know. Did you get a good look at her?" "Not really. She was about a yard away." "So, maybe it was just mistaken identity." "No. It wasn't. Think who you're talking to, Mulder. I tried to come up with a thousand things this could be. I wanted it to be something else. It's not. There's a little girl in Chicago named Emma who has someone looking after her that looks and talks exactly like me." There was silence on her end and she could hear him breathing, trying to remain calm. "And Mulder? I think I saw you when I was running away." =========== Chapter Two =========== ===== "If you walk out on me I'm walking after you." --"Walking After You" Foo Fighters ===== ===== two weeks later ===== She didn't like this at all. Pacing the apartment, her hands clutching her cordless, eyes flickering constantly to the mantel clock. 10:05 He was supposed to call. Libby at twelve. Her at ten. When the shrilling of the phone started, she snatched it on and spoke sharply. "Mulder, what took you so long?" "Calm down. I couldn't call." "Why are you whispering?" "I'm not sure what you've stumbled into down here, but it's huge, Scully. I followed Mike into this safe house. At least I'm assuming it's a safe house." "What's going on?" She licked her lips and listened to him describe the house, the way the roof sloped to one side, the surveillance equipment set up around the perimeter, the family inside. "Is it . . .?" "Yeah," he said softly. "I think it's us." ===== six days earlier ===== When her plane arrived, she fairly ran off the concourse and into his arms, glad she had made it home alive, even happier to be on the ground. For a woman who hated flying, switching flights every other city was excruciating. She had been on twelve different flights, going so far as Philladelphia and then to Memphis before heading west. Chicago had been all right. Until she ran into them . . . whoever they were. After her panicked, frantic phone call to Mulder, she had calmed down, gone investigating contrary to his admonitions to stay in her motel. She couldn't stay. She had a whole seminar to attend, and besides that, she had just seen herself. Herself and Mulder, but not Mulder, not herself. Strange. Not so strange. His arms were tight around her, enveloping her with warmth and security. The people on her flight streamed past, pushed her along, generally ignored her. Grabbing Libby, they made their way to the baggage claim, wishing to get through as quickly as possible. "Mommy!" LIbby's face was in a pout. Scully turned to her, a hand on Mulder's arm to signal for him to look out for her bags. "What baby?" "You haven't given me a hug!" Scully's eyes turned dark; Mulder knew she was flustered with herself for forgetting. "I'm sorry, baby. Come here." She held out her arms and Libby threw herself into her mother, grabbing tightly and burying her face in Scully's neck. "I missed you Mommy." "I missed you lots, baby." She brushed Libbby's hair away from her face and picked her up, letting her burrow into her arms, just as if she were smaller. Mulder turned with her bags and herded them from the busy claim. He then took a deep breath and looked straight at her. "I've booked a flight to Chicago, Scully. Plane leaves in thirty minutes." Scully blanked, rubbing Libby's back absently as she studied Mulder. "What? We don't have to time to recheck my bags, and besides, all my clothes are dirty --" "No Scully. Just me. We don't need to be taking Libby there at all. And she missed you. You stay here, I'll go. I can take a little more risks. I have contacts." She stared at him in fascination. The gleam in his eyes could not be dulled by the apologetic manner he spoke in, and the way he seemed to be dancing around on the tips of his toes, dancing to some invisible beat that made him want to run out and see things, do things, made her want to scream. She had the old Mulder back. Gone was the daddy, the man who called in and got her a day off, the lover who touched her in the middle of dinner just as he did in the middle of the night. Gone. Not forgotten though. "Mulder . . ." "Scully, I can check this out. I can see what's going on. I'll call every night at ten to tell you what's happening." He needed this, she could tell by the way his eyes shifted to the terminal and back to her. She couldn't deny him this. He had sacrificed his whole life to be with her and Libby, to run away with them even though it went against every belief he held. Now he was being given a chance at the truth again. "Go." she whispered and turned away, pulling her suitcase from his fingers and wanting to save face. She didn't want to cry, she wasn't going to let him see that she was on the verge of tears. But he grabbed her hand, tightening his hold on her suitcase. She stayed perfectly still. He came around her and lifted her face to his. "I'll call, I promise." he whispered and left her a gentle kiss full of apologies. ===== back to now ===== "Scully, they are so fake looking. I mean the me in there is . . . cold. He doesn't touch Lib- . . . ah Emma . . ." "Mulder, they are not us. Don't forget that." "They have all the appearances of a family, Scully. Jobs, school, not too much of a nice car, a smiling little girl. What's going on here?" "I've been thinking about that Mulder." She heard his pause, the way his breath came out fast. "I have too." She took a breath and slumped into the couch, then stood to pace again. "I think they've cloned us. I think they're trying to set up little families to raise the Emilys." "Scully?" "Yeah?" she said hesitantly. "You read my mind. Are we good or what?" She eased back onto the couch and bit her lip, watching the mantel clock again. "So . . ." "Remember," he began softly. "There was that man who came in New York, your angel? Well, he said that we had something they didn't. Love. That's what he said, right? So maybe they're trying to recreate that." She thought back to New York, to their hasty flight in the middle of the night, the feeling that they were Mary and Joseph fleeing with baby Jesus and away from the evil king. She shuddered and glanced to the clock again. She still had twenty minutes. "Recreate love with clones?" "Yeah." "Is it working?" A sigh. "Doesn't look to be. They seem to barely tolerate each other." He sounded defeated. "Mulder, that's not us. We have what they don't." A small smile that she could practically see, and knew was there. "Scully, I know. I know. Believe me, I'm coming home tomorrow. You don't have to worry." "I wasn't --" "Yes, you were. I can hear it in your voice. Trust me, Scully. If I'm not on that plane tomorrow, then something's happened to me." She shivered. "Don't say that." "Oh wait . . ." He was whispering. She held her breath, heard noises from his end. Then nothing. She listened. No breathing. "Mulder?" she said softly, too worried to keep quiet. A small noise from him that warned her to be quiet and she dropped into silence again. She watched her minutes with him tick away. Then: "Scully. It's okay now." "What happened?" "One of the bodyguards came out here. I had to duck behind the fence." She nodded even though he could not see it. "Scully?" "Hm?" "Thank you." She was surprised. "What for?" "Letting me go. If you had said no, I wouldn't have come. But I needed this. I don't know why, and you probably didn't know why either, but you recognized it and you let me go. Thank you." She smiled widely for the first time since Chicago had happened. "You're welcome. I think I do know why you needed it, but it doesn't make much sense to me either." "Ha ha, funny." he joked and could see her smiling at him. "I'll let you go now." 10:30. He always ended the phone call at 10:30. "Mulder?" "Yup?" "I love you." "I'll be on that plane tomorrow, Scully. Trust me." He hung up. Her watch read 10:30; the mantel clock read 10:30. Eighteen hours a day of worrying if he would be able to call and then thirty minutes of worrying that he was going to hang up. She sighed and slipped into the hall, twisting her wedding ring on her finger as she checked on Libby. Everything was asleep. She crawled into bed herself, and closed her eyes. Mulder would be on that plane tomorrow. ============= Chapter Three ============= Libby was tired and she kept falling alseep in the hard blue chair, only to awaken with a stiff neck and a whining voice. Scully finally bought her a Sprite to make her stop complaining and held her in her lap to appease her tired body. The flight wasn't due for another thrity minutes, but sometimes they could get in early, or Mulder could have decided to change his mind right at the last minute and get on a different plane. He'd be home soon though. She hated how needy she had gotten to be. So clingy. He could even see it. Hear it in her voice every day, every ten-thirty when he went to hang up. Blowing out a breath, she shifted Libby to her other leg and rested her chin to the top of Libby's head. "Mommy?" "Un-huh?" "Can I have more Sprite and maybe with a cookie?" "No baby." "Please? I bet you're thirsty too and you want a Coke. Right? So I'll just go back over there and get us both something to drink and me a cookie." "I don't think they have cookies." Her face lit. Her mother's words were a slow sign of weakening. "I saw them. Chocolate chip and sugar cookies. All in neat rows. I think five of each. I'll be back before Daddy's plane gets in." "I don't think so baby." "Please? I'm thirsty . . ." Scully sighed and pulled up her purse from underneath the seat. She saw the triumphant look on Libby's face and supposed the little girl ought to be allowed to do things on her own. Besides, she'd be right there, watching her. She handed Libby some money and watched her eager face as she turned to dash off. "Libby!" Her little girl turned back, afraid she'd changed her mind. "Diet Coke, baby." Libby grinned and ran. ===== Her Coke was long gone, only melted ice and remnants of taste. Libby was sprawled on the chair next to hers, sleep having won the battle even after her sugar cookie. She fidgeted and tapped her fingernails on the chair and ran a hand over Libby's hair every so often. It was now . . . eleven thirty at night. Eleven thirty. His plane had come and gone. There had been passengers. There had been no Mulder. She had asked to check the flight logs, but without FBI credentials, she wasn't allowed to see them. She had gotten a passenger manifest, one that told her he was supposed to be on the plane, but not if he had actually been accounted for. The airport was dark now, closed down in most places. The light at McDonalds was out, and the grilled gate pulled down. She stood and went to the information center again. "Are there are more planes scheduled to come in from anywhere near Dallas?" His flight was supposed to be in from Dallas. The man at the desk called up a list then regretfully shook his head. "I'm sorry ma'am." She sighed and went back to Libby. ===== The drive home was silent as Libby slept and Scully worried. He had promised to be on that plane. Had the fervor come back? Or was he in trouble? The thing was, she couldn't run off after him like before. He had promised. He must have found something. He must not have been able to reach her. Maybe his cell phone battery had died. He was always forgetting to charge it. A painful sigh as she took her exit and realized that he had not come home. He hadn't come home because he'd forgotten, found something more important and ditched her again. He was being himself and not thinking about her. ===== Libby woke on the ride home, right before they turned onto their street, and her eyes grew wide. "Where's my Daddy?" "He didn't make his plane baby." "Why not?" "Oh," she said, praying that she would sound perfectly fine to her little girl. "He missed it. He was late. You know how Daddy's always late." "But this was important. He wouldn't be late for something important." "Daddy can be pretty forgetful, baby." "How could he forget?" she wailed, her sleepiness making her emotional. Scully sighed. "He just did, Libby." "But how could he forget to come home? You didn't forget . . . how could he forget me?" Scully felt her heart constrict and cursed Mulder for doing this to Libby. Doing this to her. "He didn't forget you, Libby. He could never forget you. He remembered to call you every day at noon, right?" She was sniffling, evidently not convinced but wanting to be. "He'll be coming on another plane, baby. Just not tonight." "Then when?" That was a good question. ============ Chapter Four ============ "Don't leave me, Mommy!" Scully detached herself from Libby's clutching hands and smiled sadly at her. "You're going to stay with Ms. Shawl baby, while I go get your Daddy." "Why can't Daddy come get us?" Scully sank down to meet her eyes. "Baby, you need to be very brave for me and Daddy. I have to go get him because he can't get back." "What if you can't get back?" Scully pulled her into a tight hug. "I'm coming back, Elizabeth. I'm coming back." Libby stiffened with the use of her whole name and frowned through her tears. "What if you can't? Daddy said that too . . ." Scully clamped down on her lips to keep from crying. "Baby, I don't know what to tell you to make you believe me . . ." Libby glanced over to Ms. Shawl and then back to her mother. "Call me every day," she said sharply, then pulled out of her mother's arms and ran to Ms. Shawl. Scully felt awful. "Libby . . ." "Leave!" she screamed. Tears slipped down her cheeks and she rubbed them away furiously. "Libby, come over here." "No." "Now, young lady." Libby reluctantly unburied her head from Ms. Shawl's lap and looked at her mother. "If you go now, then I won't have to cry, Mommy." Scully felt her teeth draw blood from her lip. "It's okay if you want to cry." "No, it's not. If I cry, it means you're not coming back, just like Before." Scully glanced warily to Ms. Shawl, then sighed. "Come give me a hug good-bye, baby." Libby came closer, almost as if she were approaching a spider. Scully lurched forward and swept her up in her arms, hugging her tightly and kissing her forehead, then her cheeks, then the tears slipping from her eyes. Libby hugged back, hard. "I have to go get Daddy, now, Libby." Libby allowed herself to be set down, then gave her mother a kiss. "I'll be a good girl," she said softly, before the same words could come from Scully's mouth. She opened the door for her mother and watched her leave. Ms. Shawl came up behind her after five minutes of staring at nothing but the exhaust from a car long gone and gently shut the door. Libby turned around and crawled into her arms. Then she sobbed. ===== Scully cried softly on the plane for the horrible pain that had been in Libby's eyes. Then she wiped away tears and tried to concentrate on finding Mulder. ===== There was too much light. He moaned and turned over, fumbling for Scully, wanting to nudge her awake so that she'd get up and close the blinds. He felt rough concrete instead of smooth skin. He opened his eyes. He was lying facedown on the floor of a room, his face splitting in pain and his body throbbing. He winced and tried to recall what had happened. He had gone to the Chicago airport, had been walking through the parking lot when a few men had jumped him. He remembered now. The fists at first, holding his own till they had pulled a gun. Then blackness. He had been shot. Where? He fumbled around in the brightness and blinked his eyes. He bit back a scream as his hand connected with his bleeding shoulder. Two shots, he had heard two shots. He attempted to sit and found pain glancing through his entire body, reawakening fire in his nerves when he shifted. He reached down and felt his leg. More blood. Right leg, right shoulder. They could have killed him. Why hadn't they? Maybe this would do the job. Being trapped here. Bleeding to death. He moaned. He had promised Scully to be on that plane. She wouldn't figure out what had happened to him. She would think he had left her. He could hear her fear of that in her voice every time he called. She would think he had run off. She would think that of him and not even try to find out differently. He lurched his body up, ignored the pain and vaulted himself to a standing position. Where he immediately fell onto his butt, jarred his leg and sent such white hot pain through his body that he had to close his eyes whimper. It stretched on and he let the welcome dark claim him. ===== Dallas was dark by the time she arrived and the first thing she did was find a pay phone and punch in the numbers for her calling card. Then she patiently followed the directions until she got the phone to ring on the other side, in a small apartment in San Francisco. "Hello?" It was a voice filled with awful dejection. "Libby!" "Mommy?" "Hey sweetheart. I promised to call you." She heard a sort of sob of relief. "Mommy." "How are you doing, my little one?" "I wish you were here." "I know you do, sweetheart. I'm at the airport in Dallas, baby, can you tell Ms. Shawl that?" She heard Libby repeat her words and then turn back to the phone. "Libby?" "What Mommy?" "You're going to be all right. I'm going to be all right. You got that?" "Yeah." came her soft voice. "Okay, I have to hang up now, Libby. I'll call tomorrow." "No! Mommy, don't hang up!" "Libby, I have to go get my luggage." "No, please, Mommy. I don't want you to hang up." "Libby, I have to. I love you." "No!" "Good-bye, Libby." "Don't say good-bye, don't say good-bye..." Scully hung up before she would let Libby make her cry too. She buried her head in her hands and slumped against the phone booth. Her little baby was hurting because she had to go after Mulder. She gave a frustrated growl and hurried over to the baggage claim. ===== He could tell that he was still in the airport by the sounds of the luggage revolving on the carousel just outside his prison. Once he had awoken, he had crawled to the door, crawled painfully and agonizingly, but he'd made it. The door was, of course, locked. He had then collapsed in front of the door and yelled for what he judged to be fifteen minutes. His throat was raw and his lips bleeding, and his shoulder ached with a deep, painful throb that was steady and constant. His leg came in waves of pain and grateful numbness. One moment, just his shoulder, then his entire lower body was being burned alive, pierced with sharp pokers, and dragged apart with horses. But his shoulder, in the long run, hurt worse. The steady, forever pain soon grated on his nerves and depleted more of his energy than his screaming did at the onset of the pain in his leg. It would never stop. Scully would never come looking for him. No one would ever find him. ===== After pushing around a timid flight clerk and bluffing her way past security at Dallas with her old FBI credentials, which she had conveniently packed with her, she had managed to ascertain that Mulder had never made it to Dallas. He hadn't even been on a passenger list for a plane coming in to Dallas. She tried to remember how Mulder usually worked. The alias for the flight from Dallas to San Francisco, George Hale, then no reserved flight getting into Dallas because he would need to cover his tracks, not schedule the flight until the last possible second so that he couldn't be followed. She sat up straighter, trying to dispel the aches in her back. She pulled on her bra and loosened it a bit more, squirming around in the motel room just outside the airport that she had rented. All she could think of was Libby though. She bit her lip and decided to call. ===== Ms. Shawl was pulling the covers up tighter around Libby, finally able to get her in bed after her long night crying. The poor thing had sobbed after her mother left, then quietly wept after her mother had hung up. She shook her head and turned out the light. "Good night, darling. Sleep --" The phone rang loudly. Libby sat up straight. "Maybe that's Mommy." "She wouldn't call so late, Libby." Ms. Shawl reached for the nightstand phone and picked it up. "Hello?" "I'm sorry, Ms. Shawl, but I had to call to tell Libby good-night. Is it too late?" "No, I just got her in bed. Here you go." Libby's face lit up and she grabbed for the phone. "Mommy!" "Hey, sweetie. I called to tuck you in bed." There was a wonderful sigh from Libby and she snuggled deep into the covers. "Will you talk to me until I fall asleep?" Scully felt her heart melt. "I sure will, little one. Have you said your prayers?" "Not yet. I just got to bed." Ms. Shawl rose and slipped out of the room, determined to let the little girl have some privacy with her mother. She'd come back and hang up the phone when they were done. "Okay, let's say prayers then." "You first." "All right. Are your eyes closed?" "M-hm." "Dear God." Libby repeated her softly. "Thank you for today." "Thank you for today," Libby said, echoing. Scully went through and listed things to be grateful for and then ended it. "My turn." Libby said. "Go ahead." "Dear God . . . you don't have to repeat it Mommy." Scully chuckled. "All right." "Dear God, I'm going to skip all the thank yous cause Mommy already did that part. But I am thanking you at the end, I juat want to do the most important part first. So you don't forget. God, I want you to take care of my Daddy because Mommy's going to bring him back, but before she gets there, Daddy might get into all kinds of trouble. You know how Daddy is. So I want you to look after him. Listen, don't have angels go do it, that won't work with Daddy. Daddy's trouble is too big for angels, but not to big for you. And look after Mommy too. Have one eye looking at Mommy and the other at Daddy. Okay God?" "I think you should thank him now, baby." "I'm getting to that. I just have to make sure he understands first. Okay, God, it's Daddy and Mommy. Their names are . . . well, their names are secret so I can't tell you, but you know who I mean . . . Amen. Oh, wait, thank you for Ms. Shawl and Mommies and Daddies even when they leave you. Amen." "Amen." There was silence for a long time and then Libby said, "Are you going to sing for me?" "How about I just tell you a story?" "How about both?" Scully sighed. "Okay. What song, what story?" "Jeremiah and the one about Moses." "Jeremiah?" "The frog." Scully chuckled. "You mean, "Joy to the World." All right. I can do that." "Start it." Scully began to sing, her voice pitched low and designed to make Libby fall asleep. When all the verses were over and she had sung the chorus three times, she stopped, listening. "Story . . . " Libby said softly, ready to fall asleep. Scully started talking again. ===== It was one o'clock in the morning when she finally clicked off the phone, having listened to her daughter's heavy breathing for an hour to make sure she didn't wake and want her again. She crawled under the covers and remembered Libby's prayer. She hoped God had been paying attention. ============ Chapter Five ============ ===== "I forgot to tell you I love you. And the night's too long and cold here without you." --Sarah McLachlan, "I Love You" ===== He rested again, counting to sixty with half his mind, breathing hard through bloody, raw lips that refused to allow all the air he needed. His hand came up again after sixty whistled past, and began the rhythmic pounding once again. Slam. Slam. Slam. Again and again his hand smashed into the door, the metal remaining resolutely, painfully, solid. His voice to raw and aching to yell, he had resorted to making as much noise as possible. His palm tingled with every smash, but the side of his fist, the thickest part, was long past numb, long past feeling. His eyes closed as coughs wracked his body, and he winced with every hot needle of pain that stitched through his arm and leg. After sixty came again, he let his hand drop down and resumed the count. One. Two. Three . . . And his breath sneezed from him, his hand throbbed, his shoulder throbbed, the muscles in his left arm burned, his leg felt like a piece of meat already. . . and no one was coming for him. No one was coming. He started pounding again out of a blind, unknown fury. ===== She watched the sun come up, the tentative rays spilling over the blinds and into her eyes. She had been awake for most of the night, her mind thinking of Mulder, her heart aching for Libby. Pushing aside the covers and sliding from the bed, Scully watched herself in the mirror. Long lines ran down her form, curves met her hips, shading kissed her eyes, and tightness forced into her mouth. She sighed and stepped into the shower, dragging her tired body into the hot spray of another day. ===== The plane was a small craft that seemed to enjoy making her feel absolutely awful as it tossed back and forth in the high altitude winds. The chill of knowing she was up there alone, without Mulder without any strength at all, made her want to throw up more than the rough ride. She curled her fingers around the arms of the seat and closed her eyes, wishing Mulder could be there, wishing she did not have to be running after him. Was she doing it all for nothing? Was Mulder simply running when he had gotten the chance, running away from all the problems that came from hiding out with a woman who was afraid to love and a little girl that had to be under constant protection . . .? She shuddered. She had nothing to offer him to make him stay, she had nothing to give to a man like him. He wanted the world and the answers to every question ever posed by man, and all she had was a tired faith in a failing truth, that and a little girl who adored her family more than anything. He had promised to be on that plane. She still trusted him. Despite the lonely ache in her that tried to tell her he was gone forever. ===== When the phone rang, Libby sprang out of her chair and galloped down the hall to the phone, sliding in her socks on the linoleum floor and thudding to a stop into the doorframe. She snatched the phone up and eagerly said hello. "Libby?" "Mommy!" Libby's pounding head was forgotten and she sat down on the floor, twisting the cord with one hand. "Mommy, I had waffles for breakfast with blueberries in them!" "Wow. Really? Did Ms. Shawl make them for you?" "No. They came from the freezer, but they were very good and I got to put on as much syrup as I wanted to." "Sounds like fun, baby. Did you get to watch your cartoon this morning?" "Unh-huh. Guess what? Today the Bears had to fight this bad guy who came and tried to make them all work for him for free without any money or food ar anything. And the Bears all got together and beat him up!" "They did what?" "They didn't hurt him, they just made him leave by scaring him really bad so that he was too afraid to stay in the woods with the Bears." "Oh, good. So the Bears are okay now?" "Yes. The Bears are okay now." Scully smiled and sighed with relief. If Libby was watching television again and talking excitedly, then she must be doing all right. "Okay, baby, I have to go get on my plane now, okay? You be a good girl." "Okay Mommy. Call later too." "Bye, baby." "Good-bye Mommy." The phone was slammed down hard and Scully chuckled to herself as she dropped the phone easily into the cradle. The final boarding call was announced and she stood, grabbing her carryon and heading for the concourse. She was headed to Chicago. She would have to start at the beginning and follow his trail to wherever it led. Wherever it led. ===== He couldn't lift his arm anymore. Either arm. Blinding, white, hot, searing, burning, freezing pain that clawed through him like demons wanting to escape from his body. He couldn't keep his eyes open. All he wanted to do was bleed to death on the floor and fall asleep in his own, warm, blood. Something was keeping him awake though. It wasn't anything he could pinpoint, but it poked at him whenever he started to drift. It dug painfully into his ribs when he tried to close down, and it bit his heart when he got too cold to keep going. He cursed whatever angel was keeping him alive and let the demons of darkness slip into him. It was blessed relief. ===== Chicago O'Hare Airport was huge. Huge. Long columns rose before her in the main walkway and people bustled around like they had a million things to do and a thousand places to be. She had no clue where to start looking, only a certain feeling that she had to start here. Here. It was daunting. Making her way to the information desk for the airline she had been flying with, she flashed her FBI badge at the man and demanded the flight logs for the other day. She was surprised to realize it had only been two days since he hadn't been on his flight. Only two days. When the printouts were firmly in hand, she thanked the man and went to collect her luggage. ===== "Ms. Shawl?" Libby called from the living room. In the kitchen, making lunch, Ms. Shawl turned and waited until Libby had come into the room. "Yeah?" Libby's face seemed hesitant, as if she was not sure if she was allowed to talk about this. "Can I pray before bedtime?" "Sure, Libby." "No, I mean, like right now?" Ms. Shawl looked at her with a strange sadness. "Of course you can, Libbby. You can ask God for anything at any time." Libby sat down in the chair, her lips quivering as she thought about her Mommy being gone a long ways away. "Even though it's not dinner time yet?" "God wants you to talk to him whenever you want to, Libby." Libby closed her eyes, then opened them slightly, peering through the cracks in her lids. "I think we need to pray for my Mommy and Daddy right now, Ms. Shawl. Right now." ===== It was strange, the way she couldn't seem to find her bags, yet the airlines claimed they had been on the flight over. She gave a frustrated, almost panicked moan and watched the carousel go around for the third time since coming back from the airline desk. Her bags were not there. They simply were not. She gave up a pleading prayer for God to just let her get through the stupid airport without incident, but she had a horrible feeling it fell on deaf ears. She had to get out of here. Had to get out of the airport to find Mulder. Waiting hours for her bags wasn't going to help any. She rubbed her eyes and went over to the phone booths, stood in line with little patience for one of the lines to free up. She would call home and touch base, then search out an employee to help her look for her bags. Then, then, she would be able to find Mulder. Find Mulder and get out of this place. =========== Chapter Six =========== ===== "If all of the strength, all of the courage, come and lift me from this place I know I can love you much better than this, full of grace, full of grace." --Sarah McLachlan, "Full Of Grace" ===== "Baby, I might be stuck at the airport for awhile, so I don't know when I can call you again." "Okay. Guess what Mommy?" "What?" "Me and Ms. Shawl prayed for you and Daddy in the middle of the day. She said it still works even though it's not bedtime. It still works, right Mommy?" "Yeah, baby, it still works." It didn't feel like it worked, but she wouldn't tell Libby that. "Okay, bye, Mommy." "Good-bye, Libby." The phone was slammed back into the cradle and Scully realized that Libby had the same phone manners as Mulder. It made her heart hurt. She turned back to the ticket counter and stood in line there too. She would get someone to help look for her bags, then go after Mulder. ===== He was jarred awake by a rough shove. Mulder yelled and blinked and looked around him in the bright room, angered that someone, or something had pulled him from the wonderful oblivion of darkness. There was nothing there. He howled and smashed his fist into the door in frustration. Somebody kept shoving him awake. Every time he was right there, the stupid man shoved him again. This was not fair. "Just let me die already!" No one was coming. ===== She stopped dead in her tracks and the man behind her ran into her back. "What are you-" "Sh. Listen." She was in the back part of the airport, behind the carousel's working parts, watching as men lugged suitcases over to the belt and threw them onto it. Others were taking breaks, and more men were watching her. It was noisy and the employee shurgged his shoulders. "There's lots to listen to." Scully shook her head in frustration, knowing she had heard something. "Just lead me to the rooms were you said it might have gotten lost." The clerk took his keys and opened a doorway that wound behind the airport terminals and branched off into various locations throughout the strip. Walking down the relatively silent corridor, Scully got the overwhelming urge to check every door. She shook off the creepy feelings and followed the man. "Do you think one of the employees stole it?" ===== Mulder jerked. Scully. He could hear her voice, floating in through the venting system. Scully. She had come after him. He felt awake, he wanted to be awake, he wanted to freaking *live* and her voice was there, he knew it was. "Scully!" His own throat close down on him and bit off his words, choking them down with raspiness and a dry tongue. In panic, he began pounding on the door. ===== She stopped again. "You've got to be hearing that!" He turned to her. "Oh, yeah, but that's the machine sorting out the luggage. It's been rattling and pounding for a few days now." She sighed and followed him down the hall, asking more questions about the layout of the airport, trying to determine where Mulder might have come in at, and what gate he departed from. ===== She was getting farther away. He pounded harder, making it a steady beating that shook every bone in him to the core. She was walking away. Walking away from him. "Scully . . ." ===== "We have to go back." The man turned around and looked at her like she was crazy. "I thought you wanted to find your luggage." She stared at him in helplessness. She had no idea why those words had slipped from her mouth, only that something was pushing her back. Back to the first few doors they had passed. "Please. Just go back. And unlock every door as we go by." "Look, lady, I can't --" She flashed her badge. "You're going to do this for me, okay? I'm looking for my partner. He never made it back from here. I have to find him." "So your luggage really didn't get lost?" She gave a frustrated growl. "It did get lost, but this is something different. Just please, do as I ask." He shrugged and began walking back, opening every door they came to. ===== Something slammed into his side and he moaned. ===== "Uh, ma'am? Something's blocking this door." Scully ran out of the room she'd been inspecting and over to the door he was shoving against. She heard the faint sounds of pain. She sank to her knees beside the crack and stuck her fingers through. "Go call an ambulance!" she yelled, shoving the man to the back. He stared as she pushed on the door, then turned and sprinted down the hall. She breathed in slowly, then slid her fingers along the familiar hair that she could reach from the crack. She heard a moan and felt her heart jump to her throat. "Mulder?" Another garbled moan and she gently pushed on the door. "Mulder, you have to move away from the door so I can get in there." Despite the fear in her that he was hurt very badly, she was overjoyed at finally finding him. She felt him roll away from her touch and she managed to push the door open far enough to let her slide through. She tripped over his body and fell beside him. The blood was what she saw first. Her hands had fallen into a sticky mess of it. Blood was trailed along the floor, in puddles around him, in pools in the center of the room, soaking his clothes, washing his face. "Oh God," she whispered and took his face in her hands. "Mulder? Mulder, look at me, please." His eyes rolled open and the relief in them was greater than any emotion she had ever seen in his eyes. "Thought you weren't coming," he mumbled, his voice low and almost unheard, the Arctic frostbite voice. "You made me a promise. I trust you." He nodded and closed his eyes. "Got shot." She checked his fingers, found them cold. "I see that." One eye came open. "It hurts," he said pitifully. "I bet so. Lay back down," she chided as he attempted to sit up and see what she was doing. When she saw the extent of his gunshot wound, the great gaping hole in his kneecap, the blood still pouring from it, she knew he should, by all counts, be dead. He should be dead. In fact, she should never have found him. If everything had gone exactly right, she would have been in a motel somewhere, waiting for things to become clear for her. All because her bags got lost. She supposed God had been listening all along. "Scully . . ." "I'm right here, Mulder." "Wouldn't let me fall alseep." "Who?" "Some man. Kept shoving me awake. Had to pound on the door . . ." "Okay, Mulder. It's okay. Just rest right now, okay. Help is coming." She could hear the feet running down the hall now. She pulled Mulder further from the door and shoved it open more to indicate where they were. She pushed one hand to his shoulder, blocking the blood flow. His hands tangled into hers and his blood was making her cold, but she held on. "I can't believe you came." ============= Chapter Seven ============= ===== "Will mercy be revealed or blind us where we're standing? Will we burn in heaven like we do down here? Will the change come while we're waiting?" --Sarah McLachlan, "Witness" ===== She was curled on the plastic couch, hair pillowed under her arm to offer some kind of comfort, when the doctor opened the door to the ICU waiting room and cleared her throat. Scully jerked awake and opened her eyes, then sat up. The woman came over and sat down in a chair in front of her, averting her eyes until Scully had regained her composure. Then her eyes met Scully's in pure joy. "He's good," she said. Her body sagged infinitely and she let out a grateful sob. "You want to tell me what's going on here?" she said softly. "He's okay?" "He will be. Surgery went great. His knee was tricky. Wasn't a surgery I'd ever done before, really. In fact, I shouldn't have been doing it at all, but I made them let me. I begged the head surgeon and he agreed. I don't know why I felt like I could. Maybe with all the miraculous things going on around here, I got caught in it too." "What do you mean?" "I think you know. He shouldn't have been even alive when you found him. Let alone awake and conscious and talking to you. It's a miracle." "Do you believe in miracles?" The doctor tilted her head. "Every day, there are miracles happening in this hospital. Ever been to the kid's oncology ward? It's a miracle those kids are as happy, as wonderfully open and honest and loving as they are. Despite what's happening to them, they have the most will to live, the most love and strength I've ever seen." Scully nodded. "So, you want to tell me what's going on?" "With what?" "I ran a check on him, on you. Presumed dead. You want to tell me why?" She shivered and paled. Stupid. Stupid. She had forgotten for a moment who they were. Getting back into that role of FBI Special Agent, being sucked back into those same feelings, had made her forget that she was no longer Dana Scully, and he was no longer Fox Mulder. "Look, I haven't told anyone. And I won't. Let them figure it out. I'd like to know though." "We're hiding," she said softly. The doctor simply sat, her long face sad and waiting. She looked ancient, in the way that spoke of long years hurting. "There are some people who'd like to kill us. Tried to kill him just the other day, as you can tell. Mainly though, they want to kill our little girl. We have to hide, have to get away from them. I forgot, called him by his old name." The doctor nodded. "I don't need to know any more than what you want to tell me." Scully looked right into her eyes, hating the feeling of helplessness. "I don't want to tell you more. I don't want you gettting killed for this. But please for my little girl, please don't say anything to anyone." The doctor took a deep breath. "I won't." Scully smiled and stood. "Can I see him now?" The doctor nodded and walked to the door, letting Scully follow her. "Wait, I don't know your name." The doctor gave a soft smile. "Dr. Shuley." The color drained from Scully's face. "Shuley?" "Yeah. Elizabeth is my little girl . . . was my little girl." ============= Chapter Eight ============= She sat on the bed, watching his eyes as Nora Shuley told her story. Mulder looked like was believing her and Scully was inclined to. They had never really come to understand what had happened to Libby's mother, only that it was something awful, something Libby buried deep. Evidently, they'd been waiting for her, but were unprepared for her to be without Libby. She'd thrown them a curve by sending Libby to the federal building in search of her real mother. They'd beaten her, roughed her up, threatened her, but it hadn't really mattered to her much. Libby had to remain safe. That was all there was to it. Libby had to be safe. They had dumped her somewhere, maybe because her husband didn't want her killed outright, or maybe because they didn't want to do it themselves. A woman had found her, taken her in to her house when her fear of hospitals had manifested with violence, and generally helped her heal. The woman was a doctor and got her a job, got her new papers and degrees. Evidently, Nora had been a suregon before her husband forced her to quit to raise Libby, a daughter of the project. Mulder's hand in Scully's tightened and she looked to his face. He seemed to be totally absorbed in her story, right up to the last detail. He breathed loudly when Nora stopped. "What did you tell Libby to tell Scully when she found her?" "I told her to ask for Dana Scully, and she tacked on all the extra stuff, Dana Scully Special Agent FBI, Doctor --" "Yeah, that's what she said." He seemed convinced. Scully didn't know how to feel. Dr. Shuley shook her head. "I'm not here to take her away, Dana. In fact, as much as it hurts to say this, I think it's a better idea for me not to even see her." Dana watched the woman sink to the plastic chair that hospitals the world over seemed to have a huge stock of. "She thinks I'm dead, and she's doing so well without me. Better with you two than me. I have a family here . . . and I don't want to get them in trouble." "Libby loved you . . ." Nora smiled tightly. "She probably barely remembers me. She was three. Three year olds tend to forget." Scully shook her head mutely, somehow understanding the woman's pain with her decision. Mulder squeezed her hand and she glanced to him. His body was still weak and he really shouldn't have been awake, but they were rushing his recovery to get him out of there. "What are we going to do?" Dr. Shuley took a deep breath, focusing her thoughts again. "I've already misplaced your admittance records, and taken your file from the case management team. There's probably something still floating around, but I can't get to it. You'll be airlifted to San Fran's St. Francis hospital tomorrow under your alias and then, everything should be all right." Dana nodded and stood as the woman turned to leave. They walked out of Mulder's room and turned to each other at the last moment. Nora's eyes were clouded with grief. "I never thought I'd have to think about Liz again. I never wanted to. It hurts. But I want to thank you for risking your life to save my baby. I know she's really yours, I knew all along. But she's part mine, in a way, and I miss her. Thank you." The woman turned and walked down the hall, her white lab coat hiding a small figure bowed with untapped grief. Scully slid back into Mulder's room and eased to his bed. He took her hand and kissed her knuckles. "I didn't think you'd find me." he said. She nodded. "I was afraid I wouldn't." "No, I mean, I didn't trust that you would even be looking for me, Scully." She shook her head and sighed. "That's my own fault, Mulder, not yours. I was the one who didn't trust that you'd come back. You picked up on that right away." "You know now, though, don't you?" She nodded and crawled into his arms, her hands going lightly over his casts and careful not to touch anything that would hurt too much. "I know now." He kissed the top of her head and sighed. "I didn't find anything much Scully. Their house was deserted when I went back the next day, before my flight, and everything was taken from me at the airport." "It's okay Mulder. We know that they're trying to build families. Find love. I guess if we can't have the Emilys, I'd rather they had us. In some form or another." He laughed. "I suppose." "It feels like things are going to be normal now. No more flying leaps into conspiracies and paranormal. No more fear." "That's because I think this is all over. We've accepted that we won't be able to ever really find them all, that they're going to be out there. And I'm content with my family." "Me too." She sighed and realized it was late. He was closing his eyes, softly breathing. "We forgot to call Libby." His eyes flew open. "Call now." She reached for the phone beside his bed, jostling him enough to make him wince. It rang and rang and finally, someone picked up. "Ms. Shawl?" "Oh, dear. Libby was getting so tired that I just finally put her to sleep." "Oh. Would you mind waking her up so she could talk to her Daddy?" "You found him? Oh that's wonderful. Sure. Hold on." There was some rustling and Scully handed the phone to Mulder. His eyes glowed as Libby came on. "No, baby, it's Daddy." Scully heard her shriek and laughed as Mulder winced and rubbed his ear. "Okay, okay, calm down, Libby." A moment of silence as Mulder listened to her and then he smiled, looking up to Scully with laughter. "Mommy sang the frog song to you, huh?" Scully ducked her head and laid back down on his chest, listening to his heart beat as Mulder listened to Libby talk endlessly about her days. She closed her eyes knowing they were all safe. ==========END==========