Title:  Vesuvius Showers

Author:  Darkstryder
        >upyours1013@prodigy.net<
        >CClaib2155@prodigy.net<

Category:  V, A, R ( implied MSR )

Summary:  The famous scene in the van on "Pusher" from
Brophy's point of view.

Disclaimer:  Must we do this again?

This is actually a revised version of the original
which, for some reason, never made it to Gossamer.
It was called "In Harm's Way." But alas, MC Akimoto
has used that title.

//\\//\\//\\//\\

.vesuvius showers.
.darkstryder.

"Give me a radio -- something so I can keep
my hands free."

Mulder's eyes were dark. 

They were sizzling with an undying fire of 
determination, anger, and a new fear that 
would kill most mortals. 

They were glazed over with an icy sheet of 
guilt, pain, and sorrow that few had experienced. 
They were looking directly at me, and I had no 
choice but to comply.

Funny how I never realized that they were green
until those few time-freezing seconds before
The End.

When had I lost control? 

Reaching inside the equipment locker and
pulling out a large black box marked 
EYES AND EARS, I said, "I have exactly
what you need." My mouth and hands moved
on their own, pushed silently by that dark
and dangerous man who was willing to give up
his own life in order to capture a man
who deserved to die for the pain he had
caused.

Pusher. Modell. That's when I lost control.
That's when he had not only killed my
boss -- and over the phone, the fucking
phone if you can believe it -- but another, 
and ruined the life of a third by causing
him to catch himself on fire and dance
through the flames that tore and blistered
his skin until Mulder, Scully, and Burst
saved him. 

So Mulder was going in. I softly asked him to
put on the vest. Was that my voice, so
in control and calm, while my head and soul
was crying and screaming at the top of its
lungs, wanting to take the pain away? That
same voice ordered the SWAT teams away. I
didn't envy them, no, sir.

"Two lux video camera -- it'll practically
see in the dark. It's designed for bomb disposal 
to keep only one officer at risk."

My eyes flickered to Scully for a moment.

Tick, tock, tick, tock. She was waiting for the
world to end, arms wrapped around herself while
sitting stifly on a chair. Watching them from
the beginning reminded me of my parents,
so deeply in love with minds that wove together
perfectly, clashing but not destroying one another.
At the golf range, in court, at Pusher's home, and
now here. 

Mulder did a little pose and smiled thinly at me.
"Think I get the Playboy Channel?"

I laughed. What else could I do? 

I wanted to give him a friendly hug and tell
him not to let his mind be taken over by that
murdering bastard who fed off of other's pain.

I wanted to scream at him for being such a
fool, for leaving behind the woman he loved
and walking straight into the lion's den.
Crunch. Yum. What's for dessert?

I wanted to cheer and tell him how brave
he was for doing something that I wouldn't
have the guts to do. Neither would anyone
else, for that matter.

I wanted to tie him down the chair and tell him
to shut the fuck up and order the SWAT team to
go in and blast that son of a bitch's head off.

I could do neither.

Mulder turned to Scully.

Damn it, Mulder. Why was it that my mouth said
only the things that I didn't want it to say,
and nothing that I did? At least give her a kiss
goodbye and promise you'll come back. Then 
maybe you'll have a happy ending.

Or get your brains blown out and take down
the hospital staff with you.

No! Don't think like that, William. Breathe in,
out, in, out. In with the good air, out with
the bad air.

I repeated that to myself like a chant, briefly
closing my eyes, watching the tow suns from
behind closed eyelids. 

"Take it."

In my internal suffering I had forgotten all
about their conversation. Mulder was kneeling
in front of Scully, holding his gun in her lap.
She had a slight tortured expression on her
face. They were staring into each other's eyes,
completely lost in their own world. I didn't
exist to them, just a faded shadow blending in
with the rest of the darkness surrounding the
rest of us, each other lost in our own pain 
and suffering.

Suddently I was very jealous.

"I wouldn't want to find myself pointing
this at anyone but Modell."

She placed her hand over his and squeezed,
something a look exchanged but not acted
upon. Mulder looked as if he wanted to pull
Scully into his arms and hold her for the
last time, feeling his lips on hers, and she
looked as if she wanted him to. But there was
nothing, only a look and a simple -- but not 
so-simple -- hand squeeze, one that didn't
just fade away in a few seconds and leave you
alone, once more.

"Let's get this show on the road."

Come back, Mulder, I pleaded silently. Come back,
for her sake.

//\\//\\//\\//\\

.the end.

//\\//\\//\\//\\

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