TITLE: Black Boxers & Strawberry Hair AUTHOR: wink EMAIL ADDRESS: xf@23-skidoo.com DISTRIBUTION STATEMENT: why would you want to? SPOILER WARNING: only your appetite RATING: NC17 CONTENT WARNING: MSR CLASSIFICATION: SHRA SUMMARY: the cliches are out there Basement Office November 21 10:13 a.m. The pheremones hung thickly in the air between them as they both tried to concentrate on The Case. It was impossible. Each having the same thought independently (showing just what an amazing mental bond they had) they rose to their feet and turned to face each other. Mulder put his hand on Scully's cheek. Scully put her hand on Mulder's cheek. They kissed. It was the most emotionally gutwrenching experience either of them ever had in their whole lives, they both realized for the first time what it means to love someone, they both had orgasms they concealed from one another. "Where"? breathed Scully, as she began to wrestle with Mulder's fly. "I know, the Desk!" cried Mulder, sweeping her beautiful petite feather-light body into his strong powerful arms. Suddenly he stopped, and gazed deeply into her eyes. She gazed deeply back into his eyes. It was a powerful moment. "Are you sure?" he whispered, tenderly, as his intense hazel eyes bored relentlessly into her brain. "Oh yes, Mulder... I mean Fox... I mean Mulder" she sighed, "I've wanted you from the moment I saw you, but never knew if you felt the same way... I was afraid to ask" Tears began to pour down her face. "Oh Dana.. I mean Scully.. I mean Dana," sobbed Mulder, "I wanted you too, and I thought you didn't want me." "What fools we've been!," wailed both in unison, their tears commingling to roll down their faces, soak into their clothes, and spray around the room to spot the many papers and posters that lined the walls. "Where were we," sighed Mulder.. "The Desk!," cried Scully. Still holding her in his now trembling arms, Mulder waltzed over to his cluttered desk. Scully's beautiful blue eyes widened as she pondered the dirty styrofoam cups half-full of moldy coffee, and the several inches of sunflower seed hulls. Mice scattered at their approach. "Mulder, no!" Scully shrieked. Instantly he stopped, and gazed again, boring into her soul with his powerful hazel eyes. His voice was like butterscotch toffee heath bars warm from the oven to melt her heart. "It's OK, Dana," he breathed tenderly, "We won't do anything until... until you're ready. Do you want to... talk about it? "Nooo!," she breathed tenderly, "I just want to use MY desk..." Still holding her in his REALLY trembling by now arms, Mulder waltzed over to Dana's totally clean desk. He loved her so, her intelligence, her logic, her foresight -- especially her foresight, he thought to himself, noting the pillow and blankets laid out neatly on the desk. Within moments, their clothes were off, forgotten, on the floor. Scully fooled around with Mulder's parts for a while, and he fooled around with her parts, and it was another one of those emotionally gut-wrenching moments when both realize that they never thought they'd ever feel this way and all that stuff. Finally, it really was time for that irrevocable moment, beyond which nothing in their relationship would ever... could ever be the same. He poised himself above her beautiful petite skinny and perfectly proportioned body which was more beautiful than anything he'd ever seen in his whole life and gazed intently into her beautiful intense blue eyes and his powerful intense hazel eyes bored into her soul as he began to descend upon her. "Mulder, no!" Scully shrieked. Instantly he stopped, and gazed again, boring into her soul with his powerful hazel eyes. His voice was like butterscotch toffee heath bars warm from the oven to melt her heart. "It's OK, Dana," he breathed tenderly, "We won't do anything until... until you're ready. Do you want to... talk about it? "Nooo!," she breathed tenderly, blushing, looking away, "it's just..." "I know," he sighed, "what'll we do?" "Look in the desk drawer," she said, reaching down with one hand to pull open the drawer, a little too enthusiastically, she mused, as packets of every color and pattern overflowed and spilled out onto the floor. Lubricated, unlubricated, flavored, unflavored, ribbed, spiked, pierced (she didn't trust those). Tears flowed down Mulder's cheeks as he once again loved her for her intelligence, logic and foresight. Not taking his intense eyes from hers, he reached down and pulled one out at random, opening the pack with a chomp and a quick twist of the head, got the thing out of there and got it on, all with one hand, balancing deftly above her with the other one, while his tears splashed Scully's face and soaked into her pillow. She blinked them out of her eyes. Finally, it really was time for that irrevocable moment, beyond which nothing in their relationship would ever... could ever be the same. He poised himself above her beautiful petite skinny and perfectly proportioned body which was more beautiful than anything he'd ever seen in his whole life and gazed intently into her beautiful intense blue eyes and his powerful intense hazel eyes bored into her soul as he began to descend upon her. And of course it was like totally intense and life-changing and really emotional and they both cried, and first Mulder got on top and then Scully surprised him and she got on top, and Mulder realized that this was what life was about and all the women before were just sex and it was different with Scully and all that. Ditto Scully, and they both cried some more. They were both knocked unconscious by their orgasms which made all their previous orgasms in their whole lives seem like mere sneezes and they both realized why the French call it the little death. Fortunately they didn't fall off the desk. They were out for 9 minutes. When they came to, they told each other "I love you," Mulder asked Scully to marry him and she said yes, and they cried some more and decided they'd keep their new relationship to themselves to get around that nasty FBI rules thing. Then they were both amused to notice that Mulder had chosen the happy face condom. It was like an omen, a portent of their future together. Then and there it became a symbol of their love. It was a good thing they got dressed so fast, because suddenly Skinner was there with some new orders or something. They stood before him, being real cool about everything as far as they could tell, so it came as a surprise when Skinner spoke these words... "It's no secret that you two are... involved," he said in a low voice. "Nonsense!" chuckled Mulder, "Those are just baseless rumors!" "Hah!" sniffed Scully, "What a ridiculous idea!" "Say what you will, it won't work with me!' growled Skinner, his intense eyes boring into the souls of Mulder and Scully. All three stared down at the multicolored packets. "You'll have to split up or leave the FBI!" said Skinner, boring into their brains again with his intense eyes, "let me know your decision" He turned and left the little office. Scully and Mulder stared at each other for a minute or two, and knew what they must do. "We'll quit the FBI and go off and do X-File stuff on our own! We love each other more than the X-Files and our relatives etc." they wailed, kissing tenderly and doing more eye stuff. So that's what they did, and they had little Fox Dana Mulder and little Walter Fox Mulder and Samantha Melissa Mulder and Ahab Margaret Mulder and Skinner Mr. X Mulder and Scully CSM Mulder. They named their dog Krycek and kept him tied up outside in the rain and even in the winter, and didn't feed him regularly. The End!!!!!