***DISCLAIMER***: All "X-Files" elements and references
in this story belong to Fox Broadcasting, Chris Carter,
and 1013 Productions, and I am making no money from it.
"The Balance" belongs to The Moody Blues.

ARCHIVING: Link only, please!

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A Question of Balance
by shannono
shannono@iname.com


Vignette, Angst, Mulder/Scully Romance

Rated PG-13
Spoilers through "The X-Files: Fight the Future"

Summary: Mulder enjoys a moment of happiness, uncertain though
it may be. (Continuation of the final M&S movie scene.)

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A Question of Balance
by shannono

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Just open your eyes
And realize the way it's always been
Just open your mind
And you will find
The way it's always been
Just open your heart
And that's a start ...

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I'm feeling a bit out of kilter right now. Like my sense of
equilibrum's been thrown out of whack.

You'll forgive me, I'm sure. It's just that I've finally opened
my eyes and realized something.

I'm in love.

And it feels pretty damn good.

Well, the love part, anyway. Figuring out what to *do* about
it ... that's a bit tougher.

There was one moment I saw with absolute clarity what to do.
And I actually did it, believe it or not. Fox Mulder, finally
throwing caution to the wind and doing what he'd been dreaming
about for years.

Damn bee.

And doesn't it just figure that when I finally get to lock lips
with the *enigmatic* Dr. Scully, it's because she's stopped
breathing and I'm having to give her CPR?

God, our lives are crazy.

Doesn't matter at this point, though. I'm grinning like a fool,
walking through Washington under the bright, late-summer sun,
holding hands with the aforementioned Dr. Scully.

So I'm a little off-center. I'm actually enjoying the sensation.
Kinda like being on a carnival ride, but without the residual
nausea to ruin the effect.

And here I always thought keeping my balance was a *good* thing.

I'm not even thinking about kissing her again at this point. Or
trying to kiss her, I guess; that one tiny half-second of lip-to-
lip contact doesn't really count, and the CPR *certainly* doesn't.

Well, okay, I guess I am thinking about it. I've been thinking
about it, in the back of my mind, for a long time. But I mean,
I'm not thinking about doing it *right now*. I can wait, for a
while. I'm a pretty patient guy. I did wait five years for the
first kiss, after all.

At least now I'm pretty damn sure she won't knee me in the groin
if I try it again.

I still don't quite know what's going to happen. With our jobs,
I mean. Scully said she was pretty sure they were going to give
us back the X-files, just from the reaction to her little speech
and bee-presentation a while ago. (Hey, maybe we can get that bee
back and I can chop it into little bitty bits. It'd make me feel
better, anyway.)

But like I said, I don't really care at this point. As long as
I've still got her with me, I'll be okay.

I don't want to think about tomorrow, or next week, or next month.
I know we have a lot of questions still to come, things to work
out, both professionally and personally. I've already told her I
can't keep up my search without her, and it's the truth. But if
we *are* put back on the X-files as partners, are we still going
to pursue this -- pursue *us*? If we do, what ground rules are we
going to lay out? Will we have to keep it a secret? How far are
we going to take it, and how fast?

Damn. I wish my brain would quit running off on tangents when I'm
trying to live in the moment.

With a conscious effort, I turn my thoughts back to the woman by
my side. Even with the red spider-webbing on her cheeks and nose,
reflections of her Antarctic ordeal, she's beautiful. I feel a
sudden urge to kiss those damaged spots, to make it all better
for her.

To taste her again.

Maybe I will.

In a minute.

Right now, I'm going to focus all my energy on my other senses. On
feeling her next to me, her small hand enclosed in mine. On seeing
the soft smile on her full lips. On smelling her perfume, hearing
her breathe.

On being in love.

==========END==========