Disclaimer: Nope, these characters aren't mine.

Category: VA
Classification: Mulder/Scully UST
Rating: PG
Archive: Gossamer. Others ask me.
Feedback: Be my guest.
Spoilers: One Son
Summary: Scully's thoughts as she takes *the* shower.
Author's Note:  The temptation was too strong for me. I admit it,
I'm weak.  It's a shower story.  However, it's refreshingly different
from the usual fare. I had too many ideas not to write it.  I was
even writing some thoughts down while driving on I-20 yesterday.
Don't try that at home, folks. Anyway, that's more than you 
wanted to know, so on with it  . . .  

"Uncomfortable" (1/1) 
By Lisa  
(haven599@msn.com)

    I'm uncomfortable. 

   This is so embarrassing. Humiliating.   We weren't even exposed 
to anything.  It's bullshit.  Why is Agent Fowley doing this? Why 
is Mulder letting her? He's blindly going along with what she's 
asking.  Again.

    At least we didn't have to get undressed in front of each other.
There was a place to change before having to go to the showers.
I was able to wrap a towel around myself.  It's not like I could 
get out of it since men in those white suits were guarding the 
outside of the room I was changing in. 

    Fifteen minutes was the least amount of time we had to be in 
the shower.  I wish I had a watch so I would know the exact  second
that fifteenth minute rolled around.  

    Oh God. Mulder is already in there.  He changed pretty fast *or* 
maybe Diana helped him.  That's probably where she is right now.
I wouldn't be surprised.  Ok, Dana that type of thinking isn't going
to help. 

    Mulder's back is turned towards me.  Good, he can't see me.  I 
might as well get this over with.  I drop the towel on the floor
and walk quickly to the shower.  I'm glad there's a partition 
between us.  It offers me some comfort.  

    I turn my back to Mulder as well.  As I begin to wash my 
body, I think how unnecessary this is.  There is no contagion.      
I could prove that if they would allow me to examine Cassandra. 
Dammit, Agent Fowley knows I'm a doctor.  Why won't she let 
me do my job?

    I hear the water behind me.  I can't pretend *he's* not there. 
Despite the hot water, I'm cold. Shaking a little, too. I do
that when I'm nervous.  I'm probably blushing a little bit as well.

    Mulder may be looking at me.  I hope not.  I don't want him 
to see my body.  I wished I looked better.  I haven't been to the
gym in God knows how long.  I could stand to lose a few pounds.
Increase my muscle tone. Even if I had my ideal body, I would 
still be self-conscious being in a room naked with Mulder. 

    If it were some strange man in here with me, I think I could 
deal with it better.  Someone whose opinion I don't care about. 
*I* definitely care about Mulder's opinion. Well, he has seen me
naked before, but I was semi-conscious and we were trying to make
our way out of Antarctica. Now we're both alert and oriented.  

    Is fifteen minutes up yet?

    We're both adults here. Does it really matter if he sees me?
Would he really be that shallow?  After all he's done for me
would he think less of me based solely on superficial reasons. 
Something like: "I'm not sure, Scully, but I'd like you more if 
you shed a few pounds."  I laugh to myself.  No, of course not.

    I'll bet he's respecting my privacy and not trying to lean over
to catch a glimpse of my body.  I wouldn't mind seeing him, but
fair's fair. Mulder has nothing to be ashamed of.  He is good-looking
and even better looking I'll bet with the absence of clothes.  

    I shouldn't think about this right now, but if I ever considered
taking a shower with Mulder it would be at my apartment. And very 
private.  The water would run down my body followed by his hands,
washing away all the fears and doubts I have about my appearance.
The water would be so hot, almost engulfing us in its steam. We'd 
barely notice, too distracted by the feel of each other's moist
skin and our bodies pressed close together.  But, that's only a 
fantasy.  It won't come true.      

    I watch the water circle down the drain.  It's better than having
to look up.  Look at him and feel mortified.  Neither one of us 
has said anything during this forced bathing.  I'm glad he had the
sense not to make some silly comment about this moment.  It's not
a joke.  That would be met with indignation on my part. Maybe he's
just as embarrassed as I am. Mulder embarrassed?  Yeah, right.  

    I turn around because I'm tired of staring at the tiles on the 
opposite wall. I almost have a tally of the squares.  It's been long
enough, anyway.  I run my fingers through my wet hair one last 
time before glancing up, meeting his eyes. I can't do this. I turn
around and walk back. 

    I'm so uncomfortable. 

END (1/1)