Disclaimer: Nope, these characters aren't mine. Category: VA Rating: PG Spoilers: Within/Without Archive: Gossamer, Spookys, Further X. Others ask me. Feedback: Knock yourself out. Summary: Scully tells her Mom the good news. Thanks to: Sara Lynn and shoshana. "Clouded Future" by Lisa haven599@msn.com Mrs. Scully just stared at her, not believing the words that came out of her daughter's mouth. "But I thought you couldn't get pregnant." A slow smile spread across Scully's face. "That's what I thought, too, but I was wrong. The doctor's were wrong." "Oh, honey, I'm so happy for you," Mrs. Scully exclaimed, embracing her daughter in a hug. "It still doesn't seem real to me, Mom. I keep thinking I'll wake up and it will be a dream. I wish . . ." How was she going to tell her Mom about Mulder? "Wish what?" she asked. "I have some bad news, Mom," she said, squeezing her mother's hand. "It's Mulder . . ." Scully swallowed back her tears. "He's missing. We lost him." Taking both her daughter's hands in hers in an attempt to calm her, "Slow down and take a deep breath, Dana, then tell me." Scully did and then explained to her mother about Oregon and the case they were working on, omitting the parts about aliens and UFO's, trying not to involve her mother in the more extraordinary aspects of it. "He was protecting me. I wanted to go with him, but he wouldn't let me," she explained. "Maybe if I went with him . . ." her voice trailed off, thinking of the hug they shared in the hallway outside the conference room. "Then you could have been taken too, Dana," her mother told her. "I remember when you were missing. I couldn't go through that again." "I know, Mom. I know. I'm sorry," Scully replied, knowing all to well what her mother's been through the past eight years. Hospitalizations. Death. Heartbreak. "I thought I was so close to him in Arizona." "When I was calling his name out in the middle of the desert late at night I knew I was grasping at straws. I wanted to believe so bad he was out there, just waiting for me," she sobbed. "I've been having nightmares about him being tortured and hurt. I hope I'm wrong. I don't want him to go through the things I went through," Scully confessed to her mom. "I feel like I should be doing more. I feel so helpless, Mom," she said. Mrs. Scully held her daughter, letting her cry for the man she loved. "When I heard your message on the machine, I knew something was wrong, sweetie. I could tell by your voice, that's why I insisted on coming over." Scully looked up, nodding. "I'm glad you did." "I'll make some tea," she said. "Decaffeinated." Scully managed a little smile at her mother's remark and told her where to find the tea bags and kettle. Wiping her eyes, she joined her Mom in the kitchen. Sliding into a chair, she said: "The baby's due in the spring. March. I'm so happy. And scared. I know this is my one and only chance to have a child." Mrs. Scully set the teacups down and sat opposite her daughter. "How long have you known?" "Only a few weeks. I also told Skinner. I needed to share the news with someone and he was at the hospital," she replied. "I wanted to tell you in person." "I'm glad you did. It's the kind of news a mother wants to hear from her daughter in person," She smiled. "Fox will be delighted when he hears the good news." She blew on her tea before taking a small sip. "I hope so. We never discussed a family or children, since I thought it wouldn't be possible for me. We never had any serious discussions about our future. I've known him for eight years and there's so much I've yet to learn and now it may be too late. I wish we had made the time to get to know each other." Mrs. Scully looked confused. "You've been working with him for so long." "That doesn't mean we know each other," Scully stressed. "He didn't trust me in the beginning, but fortunately we did get closer over the years, especially after I was returned and then through my cancer. I couldn't have made it without him." She studied her tea before continuing, "We've only been . . . lovers for a few months, but I've loved him much longer than that, Mom. I . . . I don't know exactly when I realized it, but I knew . . . and now he's gone." Mrs. Scully scooted her chair closer, offering a comforting shoulder to her daughter as she sobbed. She cried for the man she loved and lost. Perhaps forever. To forces that she was trying to understand. It was unfair. Now was supposed to be a happy time for them. The *three* of them. "It's just that . . ." Scully began, raising her head up, searching for the words, " . . . all this time we squandered that we could have been together. I never told him how much I love him." "Dana, honey, look at me," her mother said. "I remember when Fox came to the hospital after you came back. How relieved he was that you were back, but devastated at the same time that you were in a coma. When Melissa and I decided to turn off the respirator he thought it was wrong. He still had hope and was fighting for you. I was able to get a glimpse of how he felt about you." She took her daughter's hand. "And I'm sure it's only grown stronger since then." Scully nodded, surprised her mother had that much insight into their relationship with the little contact she had with Mulder over the years. She squeezed her Mom's hand and got up, walking into the other room. "I'm afraid of having to raise this child alone." Scully stroked her hand over her still flat stomach. Single motherhood. The term is used to describe a class of people. One of which she never thought she'd be a part of. Single or not. "I may not be a good mother." "Of course you will, honey," her mother said optimistically, trying to be helpful and cheery. "Don't worry." "I am happy, Mom. Really. But it's hard to be excited when there's a cloud hanging over my future. *Our* future. I wish I could feel like any new mother-to-be, unencumbered only by what color to paint the nursery." Mrs. Scully rubbed her hands down her daughter's arms. "I want that for you, too, more than anything." "And the holidays are coming up," Scully said, like it was something new. "We'll spend it together. Like we always do," she reassured her daughter. "It'll be fun." She said it like she was talking to a five year old. Scully managed a small smile, but it was hard to be positive. "If . . . Mulder's not here when the baby comes, will you . . ." "Of course. I'll stay as long as you need me." Scully saw tears in her mother's eyes and now it was her turn to be the supportive one. She embraced her mother. "Have faith," her Mom whispered into her ear. "Fox won't let you down. Or his child." **** END (1/1) Like what you read? Come to Lisa's Haven: http://shannono.net/haven/