Title:  Tithonus Dies At Last (1/1)
Author: RocketMan >lebontrager@iname.com<
Disclaimer: Mulder and Scully belong to CC, 1013, and Fox. No fringe is
intended.
SPOILERS:::: Tithonus, obviously...US6, The Movie

WARNING:::This is so MSR it's almost sap. No kidding. SAP ALERT!

NOTES:::: This is very important, please read!

Tithonus is a character in Greek mythology who was given the gift of
Immortality. He had fallen in love with Aurora, goddess of dawn, and was a
prince of Troy until she gained this for him from Zeus. He is said to live
in her palace, immortal, but aged and decrepit, because she had not given
him the gift of eternal youth.


~~~~
Tithonus Dies At Last
~~~~

"	The woods deacay, the woods decay and fall,
The vapors weep their burthen to the ground,
Man comes and tills the field and lies beneath,
And after many a summer dies the swan.
Me only cruel immortality
Consumes; I wither slowly in thine arms,
Here at the quiet limit of the world,
A white-haired shadow roaming like a dream
The ever-silent spaces of the East,
Far-folded mists, and gleaming halls of morn."
--"Tithonus" Alfred, Lord Tennyson

~~~~
Chapter One
~~~~

"Alas! for this gray shadow, once a man--
So glorious in his beauty and thy choice,
Who madest him thy chosen, that he seemed
To his great heart none other than a God!
I asked thee, 'Give me immortality.'"
--"Tithonus" Alfred, Lord Tennyson

~~~~

Mulder watched her carefully from the corner of his eyes, licking his
chapped lips and letting his mind drift.

She labored for a breath and her eyes opened, seeking his, fear etching
deep into them.

He cradled her body against his, feeling no pain, no tears, no sorrow. 

She wanted to go; she needed to go.

It wouldn't be right if she stayed any longer. 

"Follow me," she whispered.

He nodded and placed a soft kiss to her brow, feeling his hands shake, his
limbs and muscles give out.

She fell against his chest, then closed her eyes, slipping away.

He shook her roughly, snapped her back to consciousness with the severity.

Her beautiful blue eyes opened and she shivered. "I see him. Mul. .
.Mulder I see him."

He looked up, felt his very soul being ripped from him, felt the entire
earth trembling.

Scully was beside him, clutching to him, being lifted from her body just
as he was sucked from his. 

"Follow me," she whispered, and he caught the edge of her essence with his
own.

It felt as if he were surrounded by her, caught up in her entire being,
leaving behind the cold shell of him.

He sighed.

Death.

Death at last.
~~~~

Mulder watched her carefully from the corner of his eye, licking his lips
as his mind drifted.

He wanted to stay awake, but he was exhausted after two red-eye flights
and endless worrying, seeing an awful kaleidoscope of images, from Scully
ripped to shreds by friendly fire to Scully slumped over and calling for
him as blood bubbled through her lips.

He shivered.

It was all okay though.

She was fine.

He was there, *Peyton* was properly ashamed, and Scully was fine.

But she had a look in her eyes, a fear, that he couldn't place.

He wanted to know. He wanted to know.

Mulder closed his eyes and ran his thumb along her wrist, feeling the
pulse of her blood through her veins, the smooth touch of skin to skin
giving him some relief.

As long as she was breathing, as long as she was right here beside him, he
would be okay.

His mind drifted away from his own dissipating fear and through the doors
and windows of his imagination, seeing her lit from a thousand lights --
love and lust and life and loyalty.

She was there and fine and beautiful, and he never wanted her to leave
him.

It struck him then, with his hand cradling one of hers and his every sense
heightened to spot the moment she woke, that this entire thing wasn't his
fault.

It was like lightning.

This wasn't his fault.

And. . .it should have been.

Somehow, someway, only he was allowed to be this stupid with her, and only
for the X-Files.

And yet, how excruciating that would be.
~~~~

When he came in, she gave him a lot of nonsense about life and the
everlasting man who had finally found Death's face, and he replied with
more nonsense about death finding you when you least want it.

He really really didn't want it.

Not for her, ever.

He didn't want to die either, didn't want to leave her behind, leave her
with incompetent fools who rush in to darkrooms and shoot blindly and
crushingly at his partner.

She was *his* partner.

Forever scarred for him.

He glared as Peyton checked in again, rattling some other nonsense about
his guilt, about his sincere apology, then left with a sneer directed at
Mulder.

Scully looked over at him, shook her head.

"I don't like that man," she said softly, her eyes off to the side.

Mulder snorted. "No kidding. I could kill the assinine piece of sh-"

"Mulder."

He lifted an eyebrow and shrugged. "I could."

"You won't. I don't need protection."

"You sure do."

She glared at him and he chickened out, bowing his head and sighing.

"You need something, Scully. Something to protect you from idiots like
that."

She reached out and took his hand, smiling a bit even though it hurt.

She wasn't sure why it hurt, really, just that dealing with Mulder and
having a scar across her stomach gave her a twinge of pain.

He took her offered hand and kissed it gently, letting his lips caress her
skin with more than feeling behind them.

She felt him enter the very depths of her again, crash through every well
made wall and moat and trench.

She closed her eyes.

"I didn't want to die," she said softly.

He kept his lips poised over her hand, hovering, then kissed a fingertip
and looked up.

"I don't want you to die, either."

She nodded, tears so close to her eyes that she was almost certain he
could see them already.

"But I found that I don't want to live forever either. . ."

He cocked his head, eyes narrowing in concentration, knowing somewhere
that this conversation would be important, would be vital to unlocking the
mysteries of this woman.

"Why not?"

She looked down to the thin cream blanket, then back to Mulder, her face
set and her eyes clear, her control back in place.

She would offer this willingly, offer this as a sort of gift for him, a
way to thank him maybe, or just to let him know. She had the hallway. He
would have this.

"I wouldn't want to live forever without you."

His face blanched and he leaned back, such shock written in his eyes that
she wondered if he had never known, never had any idea how much he meant
to her life.

But this was all she could say, all she felt ready to give up.

She fingered his palm, traced the lines there, not watching his face as he
went through a range of emotions. Leaning over, she kissed his palm, then
closed her eyes and turned over, pulling close to her the piece of her
soul she had just surrendered to him.

He shuddered behind her, then stood, looking down at her.

His hand touched her of its own accord, then traced her spine all the way
down, stopping at the small of her back.

She shivered, and he turned away.

Something in him was singing, something else was cowering.

He wondered which would win.
~~~~

Chapter Two


~~~~

"Ay me! ay me! with what another heart
In days far-off, and with what other eyes
I used to watch--
. . .With kisses blamier than half-opening buds
Of April, and could hear the lips that kissed
Whispering I knew not what of wild and sweet. . ."
--"Tithonus" Alfred, Lord Tennyson

~~~~

The room was dark.

Mulder was in grey, his face sunken and sallow, lines of age and
milleniums etched there. 

She wanted him to die, she did.

He clawed at her hands, moving them away from their tight grip on his arm.

"I *see* him," he crackled, and his eyes rolled a bit in their sockets.

Immortality had killed them. . .

She shook her head and refused to listen to him, refused to believe.

They lived forever, they lived forever, and God. . .she hated it.

She wanted to die. . .please, please, let us die.

"Follow me," he hissed and pulled her face close close to his, using what
little strength, what tiny reserves of will he had to grip her tightly.

He smelled of decay and rot, of a life lived far too long.

She was going to puke. . .

"Look. . .Look at him. Scully. . ."

She glanced up.

Oh God.

Oh God.

Thank thank thank you . . .God.

Death.

Death at last.
~~~~

There was something about watching him die that made her want to retch,
even in dreams.

She woke sweating and shivering, moving from the hospital bed, only to
collapse as her entire body gave out on her.

She felt her stomach pull, rip, and she braced herself against the pain.

She wasn't going to let Mulder find her on the floor, not here, not ever.

She closed her eyes, then rolled to her back, breathing hard and sweating
more.

She felt shaky from sleep, from horrible dreams, and she wanted to crawl
back in bed.

But she knew she was going to throw up, and soon.

It rose like a tide in her, swelling, cresting, flooding.

She vomitted on the floor, on her hands and knees, sobbing as it ripped
her stomach, made her feel fresh blood again.

Mulder chose that moment to walk in.

She felt too much pain to be embarassed, felt her insides shredding, her
mouth on fire.

She felt his hands come to her shoulders, supporting her weight.

There was something about watching him die. . .
~~~~

She licked her lips, raised a shaky hand to her brow and wiped away sweat,
breathing hard.

The intern worked quietly on redoing her stitches, making small noises to
himself as he did, causing Mulder to make faces at him.

She slapped his arm weakly, shaking her head.

He was going to make her laugh, and then. . .that was going to hurt even
worse.

Mulder shrugged and sat down next to her head, taking one of her hands and
playing with her fingers.

She was lying down, gazing up at the ceiling, waiting for the man to
finish the sutures, feeling Mulder's warm hands covering her thin, clammy
one.

"You okay, Scully?" he said softly, in a voice only she could hear.

She nodded without speaking.

The floor had been cleaned, and Mulder had gotten her to the bathroom, let
her calm down in his arms while she tried not to throw up anymore.

That was the most pain she'd ever felt in her life.

Like incredible cramps crunching through her body. Like a tight rubberband
was strung through her abdomen and every time she went to retch, it
snapped that rubber band.

He shook the intern's gloved hand when he was done, and the quiet boy just
nodded, then ran out the doors.

"Evidently, he's got something better to do," Mulder muttered.

"Than suture me. . .probably."

Mulder helped her sit up slowly, the bandages tight and constricting
again, her progress halted by a sharp pain.

Mulder stopped the bed and pushed it down a bit, letting her lay back
some, without aggravating her wound.

"What was that all about, Scully?"

She looked over at him, seeing his confusion and trust and honesty.

"I had a bad dream."

He seemed surprised. "A dream made you throw up like that?"

She could still smell the decay, smell the longing for death, the
wonderful release as a cold blackness took her.

"It would be awful to live forever," she said.

He blinked and sat back next to her on the bed; he wanted to put his arm
around her, but he didn't.

"Awful for what reasons?" he said, going along with her new line of
thought.

He trusted that she'd explain eventually, or not at all. That's how they
worked.

"So lonely. It would be forever and ever and ever. . .it goes on *forever*
Mulder. It never stops."

He shivered. "I know. Wouldn't that be nice though. You'd be immortal.
Never die. We could do anything. Anything."

"I think if I were, it would be awful."

"Because you were alone."

She nodded. "Left behind. All my friends, my family, the people I love. .
.going on ahead. I'd never see them again. That man. . .whatever his name
truly was. . .he *forgot* people, forgot who he loved. . ."

Mulder stroked her shoulder for a moment, then shook his head.

"But you're not going to live forever."

She laughed. "That's for sure. I keep doing things like this. . ."

"Exactly. People are dangerous. . ."

She glanced at him wryly, wanting to smile. "Everyone but you, huh? Is
this a hint for me to stick around?"

"I'd never engineer anything like this, just to show you-"

"I know, Mulder." she said gently, interrupting him with a shake of her
head.

"Although. . .if it does make you want to stay with me. . .then. . ."

"It's not so bad, huh?"

"I'm sorry you got hurt, Scully. I really am. It makes me mad."

She shifted on the bed, wincing with each movement.

"It's made me think. How little time we all have, Mulder. . .how precious
little time."

Mulder felt as if she were poking at him, pushing right into him, showing
him something very important.

He slid his arm around her shoulders, surprised when she nestled against
him.

"So little time, and so much to do," he added, feeling that he should be
getting this, should be understanding her hidden meaning, but not.

"But which are the things that really matter?"

He closed his mouth and shook his head, seeing the answer in her eyes.

"I think we matter. . ." she said softly.

He nodded, dipping close to her, feeling pulled by her soft words, her
soft body, the soft light.

"Scully. . ."

She was breathing heavy, little puffs of air slipping across his
collarbone.

He closed his eyes and felt his body shaking.

He wanted to kiss her.

The room was too bright for this moment, her arms were tangled in the
sheets, his arm was asleep behind her shoulders. . .

He slipped his other arm around her, hugged her tightly, warmly to him.

"We matter," he echoed and opened his eyes.

She was wincing, and he backed away, thinking he was hurting her.

"Sor-"

"No. No, it didn't hurt," she said softly.

He nodded, rubbing his fingers along the back of her neck, nervous.

He cursed himself for not taking the chance, for giving that up.

Her eyes were wide, seeing right through him.

Rubbing her knee with one hand, shaking his head, he watched her.

She was apologizing, accepting his own apology, smiling a bit at their
craziness.

"I wouldn't want to live forever without you either. . ." he said.

Her head bowed and she shook her head, feeling his hot fingers on her
neck, on her knee, constant circles of madness.

She was surprised when his lips suddenly grazed her shoulder, her neck,
then her cheek.

Glancing up, she found his eyes, bright and breathing love, echoing her
own.

She felt tremors start inside and she reached out, letting one hand run
through his hair.

He kissed her wrist and then met her mouth with tenderness.

His lips were thick and a bit damp, his nose brushed her cheek, and his
eyelashes whispered against her skin for a moment.

Pulling back, only enough to see her eyes, he said, "I want to live with
you forever."

She leaned her forehead to his, a rush of relief spreading through her.

"Forever," she echoed.
~~~~

END
adios
RM
--so crap or sap?--