Sarah Companion:  Family
By RocketMan >lebontrager@iname.com<
Disclaimer: Dana Scully and Fox Mulder belong to 1013, Fox, and CC.
Sarah belongs to Carol Gritton. No infringement intended.

Rating: P, MSR almost but mainly friendship
Spoilers: None

Author's Notes: Thanks a million times over to Carol for allowing me to
write about Sarah. And for allowing my horrible spelling errors when I
gave her the rough draft.

This takes place after "Staying With Margaret," by Carol Gritton, and 
is written with her permission. Thanks to Patty Hayes for reminding me 
to tell y'all when this goes.


Family 

Chapter 1

Dana Scully literally dropped when she arrived home, slumping to the
couhc and sighing, her briefcase falling from her rubbery fingers. It
had been a long exhausting day trying to catch up on paperwork from two
old cases while simulataneously doing the reports for three autopsies.
And to top it off, she and Mulder hadn't gottten back from their last
case until twelve the previous night; she hadn't had any sleep. 

The full day had passed quickly and at four, with her autopsies left and
nothing for Mulder to do, she had sent him home. Told him to pick up his
little girl and crash early. She knew Sarah would be dying to see her
daddy after their long trip.

Scully had finally gotten the reports done, filed the neccessary
paperwork and gone home, craving sleep.

She glanced to the mantel clock and saw that it was seven. It couldn't
hurt to fall asleep now, she thought.

The phone rang and she groaned.

<If that's Mulder, I'll kill him.>

She let it ring. If it was Mulder, he should know better. And anyone
else calling her would understand if she didn't pick up.

Tha machine clicked and whirled and she heard her own voice with the
recorded message.

"....home right now. If you could leave your name and number after the
beep, I'll get back to you."

And then the beep and Scully thought she should change the message. her
voice sounded so fake on the machine.

"Ms. Scully? This is Claire Lemmons from Sunrise Day Center-"

Scully was off the couch and picking up the phone before the woman could
finish her sentence. 

"Miss Lemmons? I'm here."

"Oh, Ms. Scully. Could you pick up Sarah, her father hasn't arrived and
we closed an hour ago."

What? 

Scully's breath caught in her throat.

"Sarah? Yeah, yeah I'll be right there." she said, and felt a strange
sense of panic welling up in her.

She hung up the phone and her stomach flipped. Where was Mulder? He
would never, never run off and leave Sarah. He wouldn't just forget
someone so important to him. 

She scooped up her purse from the floor and bolted out the door.

*********

"Where's Daddy?" came Sarah's frightened voice as she walked through the
front door of Sunrise Day Center.

Scully thanked the woman who had stayed after to care for Sarah and
helped the girl into her jacket. "Do you have all of your things?"

Sarah frowned. "Why didn't Daddy come pick me up?"

<She has a one track mind>

Dana took her hand and walked out to the car, trying to figure out what
was best to say to her. How to explain that Mulder sometimes went off on
goose chases and left her to cover? Would he even really do that
anymore?

"Dana, where's my daddy?" she said again, but her voice was almost
sorrowful and her eyes filling with tears.

Scully buckled her in the front seat and got in, starting the car and
putting on her own seat belt. 

As they pulled out onto the road, Scully said, "Sarah your daddy may
have found something very important and gone to look for it."

"More important than me?" her trembling voice asked.

"Oh no, sweet. He probably just couldn't get to a phone." Scully said,
intent on not letting Sarah feel worse for Mulder's stupid actions.

<Why are you doing this to her, Mulder?>

Sarah didn't say anything until they were at Mulder's apartment. With
her small hand in Scully's they eyed the living room, but nothing seemed
out of place. Sarah looked up at Scully and then back at the living
room, as if she could understand how bad it was by Dana's reaction to
the place.

"Dana if he went away because he found something, why didn't you go with
him? I usually stay with Auntie Margaret and Daddy gives me a hug and
kiss good-bye. How come he didn't do that? How come Daddy didn't say
good-bye?"

Dana felt like crying just looking at her face.

"I don't know, sweet. But you're going to stay with me this time,
instead of my mom. Will that be okay? We can pretend like we're having a
slumber party. Alright?"

But there was no consoling Sarah. She wouldn't be easily deterred from
her thoughts.

"Has Daddy left me forever? Just like Mommy?" Sarah's dark eyes, so
reminiscent of Mulder's, stared up at her with a sense of age beyond her
years. Her face was alive with fresh pain and close fear.

Scully sank to her knees beside the girl and took her in her arms. "Oh
no, no, no. Sarah, your Daddy loves you very much and he will be back.
He's all right Sarah."

Scully didn't know what else to say, not wihtout lying to her. And if
working on the X-Files had taught her anything, it was that lies only
caused more hurt. 

Sarah pulled away from her and ran to the couch, a place where her daddy
had always made her feel safe, where she could sneak in and lie beside
him.

"You don't know where he is, do you? You don't even know if he's okay!"

Dana stared at her and then slowly shook her head. "No, I don't Sarah.
But I do know that he will try very hard to come back. He loves you very
much and wants to be with you."

<Oh, God don't let me have scarred her for life.>

"Am I enough to make him come back?" Sarah said, her lips trembling.
Scully went other and gathered her up in a fierce hug, stroking her
hair.

"Oh yes, Sarah. You're more than enough."

When her shaking had stopped and she seemed to be alright agian, Scully
stood. "Sarah why don't we get some of your things together? That way
you can sleep at my house."

"But what if Daddy comes back and I'm not here?" she said.

"Daddy knows to come to my apartment, Sarah. He always does." 

But she was thinking more that she didn't want Sarah in the apartment in
case someone did come back. And she had the feeling it wouldn't be
Mulder coming back. 

Sarah went to find her markers and Hercules coloring book, while Scully
neatly folded some clothes into her Disney backpack. 

When Sarah had grabbed her toys and anything else she said she needed,
Scully took her hand and led her back to the car.

Sarah cast a long, sorrowful look back before climbing into the car.

**********

Chapter 2

At her apartment, Scully let Sarah crash on the couch, popping in "The
Fox and the Hound," another Disney classic, to watch. Sarah curled up
next to her, her eyes glued to the screen and mouthing the words to the
songs in the video.

When her favorite song came on, Sarah scrunched up her face and turned
to Scully.

"Dana, what does that mean?" she said.

Scully, who had been daydreaming about all the horrible things that
could have happened to Mulder, looked down at her in complete confusion.
She noticed that sometime during the movie, Sarah had grown somber and
serious again.

"What does what mean, Sarah?"

"Elimination: Lack of education." she sang, in a perfect imitation of
the owl on the television.

Dana smiled and felt a bit better. "Well, sweet. It means that when you
don't understand things all the way, and you don't take the time to try
and learn about things, then you'll only be making bad mistakes." she
said, hoping she was imparting the meaning correctly.

"Can it be dangerous not to know things?"

Scully hoped she wasn't totally screwing up something Mulder had
previously told her. "Yes, it can be very dangerous. You could get in
big trouble."

Sarah's face whitened. "But I don't know lots of things!" she wailed.
She was no longer drowsy, but fully awake.

<Oh, no. Please don't make me give her nightmares!>

"That's what your Daddy is for. He will teach you what you need to know
so that you don't make bad mistakes."

Her face seemed to produce a constant store of new expressions. This
time was panic and fear.

"But . . . but what if Daddy doesn't come back? Then who will teach me
things?"

Scully shifted on the couch and sighed inwardly. "Sarah your daddy will
be back, he will. He just . . . . needed to learn some things for
himself, so that he doesn't make bad mistakes either." Scully
congratulated herself silently for applying the phrase to their
discussion. Maybe that way she would not think Mulder had left outright,
but gone in order to keep his family safe.

Except that the phrase was not always true, and hardly ever true in the
X-Files. Elimination came not from *lack* of education, but education
itself. Knowing too much. And Mulder was probably off to know more. Or
knew more and wasn't supposed to.

"But he must be in trouble, Dana. He hasn't come back."

<Oh no! I can't do this! I'm not her mother, I'm not supposed to be
making the decisions that affect her for the rest of her life! What do 
I know about children?>

Scully gathered Sarah up into her arms, and leaned back in the couch.

<Please, Mulder. Please have taught your daughter something about the
importance of trust.>

"Sarah, do you trust me?"

Sarah scrunched up her face and seemed to think about it for a long
time.

"Daddy trusts you. He says I can trust you. I do trust you, Dana."

"Then trust me, sweet, when I say that your daddy will be back as soon
as he can."

Sarah didn't say anything and Scully got the idea she was thinking about
this, trying to assimilate it with the innate fear of being left. 

"But Dana, I'm afraid. Daddy said I could be afraid. He said it was okay
to be afraid."

Scully stopped and stared at her for a moment. <Okay to be afraid. I
have a child telling me that it's okay to be afraid.>

"Yeah sweet. Your daddy's right. It's okay for you to be afraid."

"And you too, Dana. Daddy says that sometimes he's afraid too. It's okay
for adults to be afraid."

<Mulder, just what have you been telling this girl?>

"Yes, Sarah, sometimes I am afraid."

<Why was that so hard to say?>

"I'm afraid now, Dana. Are you afraid? I know you can't bring Daddy
back, so you must be afraid that . . . that he'll leave you too."

<How does she know? How does this one little girl know?>

She sat back in the couch and stopped giving Sarah the patented
everything will be all right look, and frowned. "Yeah I'm afraid, Sarah.
I'm afraid."

Sarah nodded and actually seemed to be calmer, knowing that she too was
afraid. Most children would be in fits, Scully knew, if they thought
that the adults couldn't make things all better.

"Hey Sarah, why don't we get ready for bed? And maybe in the morning it
will be better."

Scully prayed Sarah had not outgrown the child phase were everything was
all right in the morning.

"Okay." A pause. "Could I sleep in my Jasmine pajamas?"

"Sure sweet."

And they got off the couch and stopped the VCR, ready for sleep.

*********

Back out on the couch again, Scully listened to Sarah toss in her sleep,
waiting for something to happen. She found she *was* afraid. She was
afraid that Mulder had been taken by Them, or gotten in a car wreck, or
been beaten by thieves. After putting Sarah down in the spare bedroom at
eight thirty, Scully had called all the hospitals, but none had a John
Doe by Mulder's description.

She had then called the police, feeling slightly ridiculous being an FBI
agent, but of course they told her to call back within 24 hours. What if
Mulder couldn't survive 24 hours?

So she sat, waiting for him to call, to stumble through her door, to
grin and say he was okay, simply waiting. She was imagining all the
things that could happen to him, horrible images cascading through her
head. She realized that she was acting like a worried wife - consoling
the kids and then when they were put to bed, falling apart. She no
longer had anyone to put on a brave front for, and so she couldn't.

She gave up her vigil and crawled into bed, turning the light out and
hoping morning would come quickly.

Sarah came before morning did, beating it out by a good six hours. It
was almost midnight.

Scully awoke from her own dream, awash in sweat and panic to see Sarah
by her bed, tearful.

She collected herself and looked at her.

"I had a bad dream." she said, chin quivering.

Scully's action was immediate, instinctive. "Oh poor baby. Come up here
with me."

Sarah climbed into bed with her and buried her body between Scully and
the sheets.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" she said, putting her arms around the
girl.

She shook her head and said, "I can't remember it."

Scully nodded and stroked her forehead, calmly wiping away the leftover
tears, and growing sleepy from Sarah's warmth next to her. She felt a
piece of cloth and looked at it in the dim light from the moon. It was
an old, ratty jersey, looking like it had belonged to Mulder at one
point. She smiled. A jersey of Mulder's was the girl's security blanket.
How sweet.

But as she fell asleep again, she found that she could smell Mulder
everywhere. In the sheets, on Sarah, in the pillow, on her own clothes,
even in the breeze coming in through the cracked window. Scully was
surrounded with the constant reminder that Mulder was out there, instead
of here, with his family.

And then she realized that she now thought of herself as being a part of
Mulder and Sarah's family.

<Oh Mulder. Where are you? Your family needs you.>

**********

Chapter 3

Dana felt sleep pull away from her and the mist she was floating on
seemed insubstantial with the persistent tug of something outside her
dreams.

She awoke with the feling she was not alone and was confused when her
mind told her that Sarah was there, and that was why.

No. Someone else.

Slowly she opened her eyes and peered into the darkness. Nothing.
She disentangled herself from Sarah's flailed limbs and rose, wondering
where she had put her gun.

<Shoot! In the safe. Crud. No way of getting it now.>

A moan reached her ears and she froze.

Mulder?

She darted to the living room, then stopped short in the hallway. What
if it wasn't Mulder? Was she stupid or something?

But the sound came again and she peeked inside.

It was Mulder.

Trying to lay down on her couch, but so sore and stiff he was killing
himself.

"Mulder!" She said, trying not to wake Sarah.

He turned and in the light of the street lamp shining through her
window, she saw his face.

"Oh my gosh! What happened?"

He winced and she grabbed her first aid kit off the chest next to the
couch.

"I got beat up. Trying to follow up on a lead."

She frowned and took out the alcohol pads, trying not to be extremely
angry at him for running off again.

"I didn't expect anything to come of it, but with the extra time you
gave me, I figured I could check it out. I was - Ow! That stings."

"Hush. Whoever beat you up sure did a good job."

Mulder caught her eyes, amused at the hush and gave her a quirky smile.

She finished cleaning him up and eyed him critically.

"That's the best I can do for now. Did you fall unconscious?"

"Yeah. He took my car and I had to hitch a ride back."

"Let me see your eyes." she ordered and took the flashlight and checked
his pupils. They responded normally and she sighed, finally releived.

"Mulder, I was worried. Sarah was scared to death."

"Yeah I know. I didn't mean for it to happen." he said, his voice soft.

"I know you didn't but I . . . I still . . . "

"I understand. And thank you. For bandaging me, for taking care of Sarah
and calming her down. She really likes you."

He took her hand in his and rubbed his finger over her knuckles. She
nodded and did not think it wise to speak, less her voice give her away.

"I'll see Sarah in the morning. It may not be a good idea to let her see
me all bandaged and knocked up."

"Oh," she sighed and stood to leave. "Well, you know where everything
is."

"Yeah. Go back to bed, Scully."

She nodded and left, her heart beating fast.

But as soon as she slipped in bed, she fell asleep, knowing that Mulder
was safe.

*******

Mulder woke to hear his child screaming, a sound that tore his heart,
and he jumped up, managing to knock his knee into the table and twist
every muscle in his body. But he went for his daughter, despite the
pain.

He found her in Scully's room and the sight ripped away his breath.
Quickly he melted back into the shadows.

Scully was rocking sarah back and forth, soothing her with soft words
and a steady hand rubbing her back. 

"Mommy, mommy," Sarah sobbed, clutching Scully's nightgown so that it
dipped low. Her tear stained face was pressed into Scully's side.

"I'm here, I'm here." Scully said.

Mulder's breath caught and he blinked away tears.

Neither noticed him, standing in shadow in the hall watching his little
girl call the woman he most respected, most cared for, most loved, her
mother. In a moment of blind fear, Sarah had reached out for Scully and
called her the only name that had such power to soothe and comfort.

Mommy.

Sarah had called Scully Mommy.

Scully held her, smoothing her hair and kissing away her tears. Soon her
sobbing fell into shudders and sighs, and Scully pressed her lips to her
forehead.

"I'm here," she said finally.

Sarah nodded and snuggled deeper into her arms, sighing a little. Scully
felt her heart squeeze. She had never known what joy a child could be,
how much they could influence your life, how much they got into your
heart, until Sarah. She might have been jealous at first, that another
woman had given Mulder his first child. But she was the one that ws
allowed to share the experience, the love, with him.

Sarah turned suddenly and gave her a kiss. "Thank you Dana. I love you."
she murmured, already falling asleep.

"Oh, I love you too, sweet."

Dana knew she could never stop loving this beautiful child.

**********

Mulder came into Scully's bedroom the next morning to see Sarah and her
tangled up together, their arms and legs flung every which way. He
thought it had to be the most wonderful, beautiful sight, to see his
daughter sleeping with abandon in the arms of the woman he trusted and
loved. He sat on the side of the bed, noticing how young Scully looked
sleeping in the sun, next to a child. He wanted to give her a child of
her own, even if she felt like Sarah was already hers. Scully moved a
little and her bright hair fell onto his fingertip. He stroked it and
laid a hand on her side, feeling her warmth and life. She was like an
angel, and Sarah, sleeping next to her, an angel too.

It was time to wake up his women.

**********
End
Adios
RM