Rhiannon
By RocketMan

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Ratings: I haven't quite got it all sorted out, but it is harmless. PG at
most. UST and A, V. yeah all that good stuff.
=====

I have always dreamed that I was Rhiannon, flying so high on the back of
such a beautiful beast, dipping through the beams of sunlight and
catching the wind in my hair.

Or I dreamed that I was another one of those mythical characters, smart
and beautiful, with golden hair and a striking smile. 

But mostly I wanted to be Rhiannon. She was a Welsh legend who had a
special affinity for horses, and was almost a goddess. Rhiannon was
clever, fearless, and more than a match for any man, while her special
horse had mystical powers and could outrun all others.

I liked her because as a child I was smaller than every one else (not
much change there) and I thought she was a woman who could kick some
dorky boy's butt.

And Rhiannon seemed perfect. I didn't ever hear of anything bad
happening to her or her horse. She always triumphed; she could do no
wrong. She was strong and beautiful and just what I wanted to be.

In college I took a class on mythical figures throughout history and
what it says about the culture. I found that it said that Celtic culture
was much more advanced in what it thought women had the right to do.

Then the song by Fleetwood Mac came out, called "Rhiannon," and I
listened to it so much, some of my suitemates started calling me that.

I loved it.

But I'd forgotten about Rhiannon until today.

Mulder had stopped by, telling me with his eyes that he was very worried
about me, but saying with his mouth that he wanted to know where I had
put a certain file.

We always talked about sensitive things with our silent communication.

And I hated seeing all of his fear in his eyes all the time.

So what if I couldn't come to the office anymore? I was still here,
alve, if not well.

He doesn't have to look at me like that all the time. As if I'm going to
die.

But today, getting back to Rhiannon, I saw again all his worries, all
his need, all his fear and I couldn't do it anymore.

I opened my mouth to say to Mulder that he ought to just leave me alone,
that I couldn't stand it anymore, but something stopped me.

Rhiannon.

Or her image did. I looked up and there it was; I thought I was really
going crazy. It was the image of her I had built up in my head as a
child. Tall, leggy, astride a beautiful roan horse, her hair flying out
to tangle in the mane of the animal's, and that expression of pure
strength.

And it wouldn't let me give up.

She said I was stronger than some man's disease. That I didn't have to
bow to my overwrought emotions, nor Mulder's. She said that instead of
collapsing in on myself, I needed to tell Mulder.

All without words of course. Just this image of such a strong, beautiful
woman who I had admired as a child.

She said plain and clear -- Don't give up.

And I smiled at Mulder and made him sit beside me on the couch and then
I said, "Mulder I need to tell you something."

<Rhiannon> whispered a little voice in me as my throat dried out.

He was even more concerned. 

"I need to tell you that.......I'm going to be okay, really. The doctor
said I was cancer free and it's just the last of the chemo that's
hurting so much. That's all. I'm okay."

Mulder gave me a tight smile.

"Lighten up Mulder. Entertain me. I'm bored with sitting here."

A sly grin spread across his face. "Are you up to my kind of
entertainment Scully? You must be getting a *lot* better."

I stuck my tongue out at him and he seemed to be all right again.

"All right, then, you asked for it."

And to my utter shock, he kissed me.

Hard and fast as if he was afraid I'd slap him.

And I almost did.

Then my body betrayed me and I reacted to the heat with my own heat.

I could swear I saw a figure astride a roan horse smiling in triumph in
the corner of my eye.

end.
adios
RocketMan